| A
male
age
30-35,
*adbullyboy
writes: hello, im 16 and me and my girlfriend for about a year and we recently tried to have sex, but it didnt happen. i could only get a semi erection, wich i felt was realy odd as i find her really attractive, and i never get a problem when im on my own. but when we went to have sex, it just didnt happen. Now im scared to try again just in case it happens again.. have u got any advice for me please?
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female
reader, carrie_cares +, writes (4 January 2007):
 A few of my male friends have experienced a similar problem. Its due to nerves whether you notice them or not. Especially if you discussed the fact that ou were going to sleep together alot right before you tried to have sex. You need to take it slowly, relax and enjoy yourself. Try foreplay explore each other, fore play can be a lot of fun too especially finding out what each other likes and how you like to be touched by each other, it will certainly help you to loosen up and should have you hard and ready in no time. Please practice safe sex though, even putting on a condom can be a turn on if you done right.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): very good reading indeed Malyce! as for the original question, trust me its happened to the best of us! India is right, oral sex or a handjob right before the act should do the trick.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Weird...I swear I posted this in the correct place. Oh well...makes for some reading.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): I didn't have my first orgasm til I was 24. And it was a completely shocking, overwhelming, and amazing experience. It was a relieve because I thought...I can do that? I am beautiful.
I had thought there was something wrong with me and I thought all women faked orgasms. And couldn't figure out the why except it is just accepted that we should for the sake of the man we are with. *shrugs*
For serious.
With the recent EX BF...it surpassed that first orgasm and the ones that followed in my marriage.
What made the differenc?
I wasn't overly trying. I say this as when the monotony of life had me lagged; I was eager to have an orgasm tonight no matter which actually made it harder to have one as I was too focused and lost sight of the spontenaity, the natural way and the connection.
Also...trust in my partner. When my marriage began to erode and my husband grew distant and more abusive...I dreaded the "wifely duty". It's like I would never have an orgasm again.
Yah...but I don't care...I'm trying to give you insight.
I didn't think mulitples were a real thing either.
Boy was I wrong.
It's the connection, the trust, being able to give yourself completely to another, mind, body, soul. I just relaxed and wasn't expecting anything...it happened.
Also...the BF did some reading. I love reading books. I did some too after wondering WHAT? HOW? WHO AM I? ARE YOU HUNGRY?
The human body is a wonder. As it the mind.
I suggest heading to chapters and doing some research and do it with Hubby.
Pornography or Knowledge? Depends on the material I say. If it is too racy...just trust in your partner and explore one another's body.
It will happen and when you are ready.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (2 January 2007):
 Hey dude...don't be scared!! That is so normal...all guys go through that...so you are not the only one! You didn't state that it was your first time having sex...so I will tell you this...you were probably anxious! And if it wasn't...don't worry! my bf of almost a year he goes through the very same thing!! One word of advice from a female....don't substitute sex for masterbation when you have your gf (or wife) nearby. It only makes her feel left out and ignored!! and that you rather have your hand rather than them!! I have to say that because it happened to me on several occasions!! it hurts them to the point that they will leave you. Also don't masterbate all the time...it might make you impotent and/or get pre-mature ejaculation...my father was a doctor so i know all about this!!!
SO DUDE....DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!
Good luck and i hope this helps you out somewhat!!!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 January 2007):
 Is this your first time having sex with your girlfriend? If it is, you're probably just having some jitters about the first time. My boyfriend agrees with me... "I've been there.", he says. "You just have to relax."
After a few more tries, you should be comfortable enough so that you're plenty hard. And, why not have your girlfriend give you a handjob before the act? Lots and lots of foreplay is always a good direction to start in...
We (my boyfriend and I) think you'll be just fine if you give it another shot or two. Sex is fun. Sex is great. Just be safe about it and don't force it.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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