A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is wonderful when he's sober, we have a great time and get on really well. However, when he's drunk, I hate him. He's loud, obnoxious and very aggressive towards me for no reason. It doesn't take much to start him off then he just shouts at me all night. Do I get rid of him, even though he's great the rest of the time?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): I have been living with my bf for over 3 years and from the start, I knew he liked his alcohol - with his friends and by himself. I also like to drink but not to the extent as he does (although now I find myself over indulging, maybe due to frustration?). At any rate, I have tried to discuss with him (more times than I care to remember) what bothers me about this and he (acts) like he understands and, as others have said, he can abstain or limit himself for a time, and then there comes the other occasions when he gets stressed out about something, tired, irritated, (etc). oh boy watch out. I can say that I am about at the end of my ropes with this guy. I believe this type of person must truly reach the end of the line before they wake up. He also doesn't like the religious aspect of 12 steps. I said just look at the positive side of the messages because there are many gods - not just one - but that doesn't seem to sink in. Anyway, I am moving out very soon. I told him that I see where his priorities lay and I do not want to interfere with them. As was mentioned above, when you make a strong statement to someone - you must be prepared to stand behind it - otherwise, why bother, right? Above all, we need to think more of ourselves than others - especially when the other person doesn't give a shit about your feelings......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): maybe secretly film him or record him one night when hes drunk and being agressive and then play it back to him when hes sober so he can see or hear what hes really like and that ur not exaggerating.
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female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (27 February 2007):
 He needs to sort himself out FAST. I suggest Alcoholics Anonymous as a good place to start. There are regular meetings held in most towns, the people are friendly, and it`s free. If he refuses to recognise that he has a problem, then I`d get out fast. There`s a very fine line between verbal abuse and physical abuse. If, as you say, he gets aggressive and unpleasant when drunk, then he HAS got a proplem, that needs to be addressed ASAP. Please let us know how you get on, Kind Regards, Heather.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): Dump him, my ex used to be the same, he would drink from Noon until Midnight, and would pick an argument over trival things, everything would be find, then all of a sudden he would kick off, week after week I would tolerate his behaviour because when he was sober he was ok. But embarrassed me as when he drunk too much had to be the centre of attention all the time, and he was always right, I kicked him out of my house when he started to throw things about and verbally abuse me, and cheated, he lost a great home and girlfriend - his loss, not mine. Get him out of your life and be with somebody who doesn't need to depend on alcohol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): If he won't cut way back on his drinking he will eventually become an alcoholic, as this is a progressive disease. Habits like this started young often continue into late adulthood where the real disease is full blown.
My advice is to demand he not drink around you, he is agressive and abusive and could end up hurting you or kill you in a car.
If it were me, I would not date him, but if he is willing to change, then you have to decide that, not me.
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A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Why settle? Would you buy a car that ran half the time? or only worked well on days it did not rain? You may love him, but why can't you expect a boyfriend that is great all the time? We all have our little quirks, but this sounds like more than a minor flaw.
If you are genuinely happy with your current boyfriend then keep him. If you are not break things off, the longer you continue the harder it will be to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): getting rid of him is a bit extreme. maybe help him to cut down on his drinking and explain that, whilst u do want him to have fun (and no u are not turning into a nagging wife), u dont like the way he is and get scared when he gets aggressive
good luck!!
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