A
male
age
51-59,
*obertEvans
writes:[OP original title]I have dated this girl for four months. Three weeks ago she blocked me from Facebook and said her reason was that she doesn't want to look at my page and see other girls commenting or liking my status and then missing me and wanting to see me. I was upset but she also said she needs time to get help and fix things in her life such as counseling for an eating disorder, being stressed from losing her job and moving home. We have texted everyday since we met but I haven't seen her in three weeks. She says she needs time to take care of her life and doesn't want to date anymore. I was giving her time and only texting her back when she texted me. Last weekend I asked to see her and she said she had stuff to do Thursday and Friday but maybe could see her Saturday and if no then Sunday. Saturday came and she said she didn't want to see me and when i asked about Sunday she said doesn't think she will see me then either. I told her i was confused and asked if she still wanted to see me. She said she doent think she wants to see me anymore and hasn't missed me lately and needs time alone. I don't think she missed me cause she knew I was there and always texted her back. She said she doesn't like herself right now and doesn't see how anyone else could and says she is not worthwhile and has nothing to offer. I told her she is worthwhile to me and that I missed her and still wanted to be wig her which she doesn't understand why. I told her I would be there for her and that just because things aren't going well for her right now it doesn't change how I feel about her. I then told her that I am getting rid of texting and that all of my texts would be blocked and that I won't be able to send any either. She said she had a block on texting in the past and said she didn't have it on anymore because of me and then said so I guess we won't be staying in contact. I told her it wasn't her and that I had been receiving alot of unwanted texts from email and stuff and so that's why I am blocking it and that if she ever wanted to talk she could call me and that I could call her but she never answers the phone so just told her to call me if she wanted to talk amd the she said "oh okay" and then i texted or you can always unblock me from facebook and we can mesaage there amf told her i miss her and hope to here from her eiter way, and nothing was texted back after that. The reason I made up this whole text thing was becasue she hasn't missed me and I am tired of getting on or two texts a day saying how is your day or hope u have a good day. She just wants to maintain a text contact it seems. I had asked her some questions via text and got no response also. I wrote down all my questions to ask her if she calls. I did call her later in the night and left a message saying I hope you had a good day and would like to talk to her and said give me a call back tonight or this week sometime and that was yesterday. I got no call back after a couple hours and called once more and in a frustrated voice left a voice mail saying, not sure why you can't return my call and not sure if your on a date or not but if you can't take five minutes to return my call then whatever and I hung up. I haven't gotten a call today and our four month anniversarry is tomorrow and she knows I wanted to see her for that cause I told her days ago I was looking forward to our anniversary. I don't plan on calling her tomorrow BUT Friday is her birthday and I bought her a nice turquoise necklace and want to give it to her. A week ago I told her I wanted to see her for her birthday and she said she doesn't have plans and we should be able to get together. I don't plan on calling her this week and want to wait 2 weeks before I call her to just say hi if I haven't heard from her. Should I call her on her birthday to just say happy birthday and ask her when I can give her present to her. I love her but not sure what to do. Any suggestions as to what I should do or how long I should wait to contact her would be helpful. Most websites say 3 weeks and then call her if she hasn't called me but the birthday thing this Friday makes me wonder what to do. She needs time to get her life straight and get counseling and build her self confidence and time to miss me and I think the whole texting thing being over will help. What do you think about this whole situation???
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anniversary, confidence, facebook, hasn't called, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (26 August 2010):
 I agree with tennistar, keep texting, I personally prefer calls from a guy, it speaks stronger of him, texting to me is a wussy way out. But don't over do it. Just a simple how are you, how you feeling just called to say hello.
Don't ask her when she's going to see you, when she's ready she'll let you know.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Again, you're being too pushy..She still isn't over her problems and still needs the space, you're coming on way too strong. Back off some. Don't keep asking her what day is she going to see you, if she wants to see you then she'll suggest a day and she knows you will be available. Keep up the texting but to the bare minimum, don't blow up her phone. If what she said is true, she will come to you when she's ready, so for now contain your excitement.
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A
male
reader, RobertEvans +, writes (26 August 2010):
RobertEvans is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI couldn't help myself and texted her today and told her that I removed the text block and asked her to call me. She did call and I asked her these quesions:
told her I missed her, she said she misses me also!!
Asked if she met, dated or saw another guy: she said no
asked if she still really likes me alot like she did when we met: she said yes
asked if she still wants to continue to date me and see me: and she said yes
asked if when I can see her: she said maybe thurs or sat
I asked her how school and counseling was also and she said good and we talked a little about that.
I told her that I had never been through anything like this and felt I wasn't doing a good job of giving her time and she said I had been very patient with her.
Also asked her when she would unblock me from Facebook: she said sometime she would but didn't say when
the only thing I am concerned about is seeing her. Alot of times I get anxious and ask the day may be getting together and then she sometimes says she can't see me that day. What should I do about this situation? Should I not ask and wait for her to let me know if we are getting together or not? Should I text her sometimes or always wait for her to text me then respond?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 August 2010):
Couple of questions first...Why are you wanting to celebrate your 4 month anniversary when you guys aren't dating anymore? I'm confused about you taking off the texting, and then she blocked you on Facebook? If she doesn't want to talk then why do you continue to make the effort?
Now, this woman has got some major issues, issues she can only solve on her own in time. I've shared a few of those problems and they take quite awhile to get through..especially the eating disorder that's a very mental problem that she has to battle on her own. So she's not full of shit when she says she needs space. Personally, I think you're a little pushy with trying to talk to her and wanting to get back together. Like she's stated a few times she needs to be alone so you need to do a better job of respecting her wishes. For you to give you closure, call her on her birthday wishing her a happy one, let her know you got her a necklace..if she doesn't call back then that's it. Don't bring up the 4 month anniversary, you're not even together so there is no 4 month anniversary to celebrate. Case closed, move on.
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A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (24 August 2010):
She does need time to get her life together. And although you could provide support, I think it's better for her to get a handle on her life on her own. She would benefit from that more.In terms of anniversary, I don't think you guys are dating anymore, so there is no anniversary. It's nice though that you remember that date. I believe the best thing for you to do is not to pressure her into seeing you, but just give her what you want to give her without expecting anything in return. If you already got her a nice necklace for her birthday, stop by where she lives and give it to her. Tell her that you still care for her and no matter what she decides you still wanted to get her a gift for her birthday because her birthday is important to you and you wanted to let her know it matters.And walk away.If she cares for you, she will contact you, if she doesn't, let her find her own happiness. Even if her happiness is with someone else.
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