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age
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anonymous
writes: [OP original title]My lesbian girlfriend cheated on me with a guy. She claims she doesn't like guys but in my heart I don't believe it. What should I do? We have been together almost 3years, this occured 2 years ago and I still feel the same way. It seems like she looks for guys attention. Also, to me, she is always looking to see if guys are checking her out. Is she insecure or does she really like guys?
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cheated on me, insecure, lesbian Reply to this Question
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female
reader, NCAngel  +, writes (11 December 2010):
First and foremost, I'm sorry that happened. I don't, by any means, intend to advocate the cheating that you did, but I completely understand how awful you feel about your girlfriend sleeping with a man. Personally, my girlfriend of 9 years broke up and she chose to sleep with a man during that time. I have an awful time attempting to deal with it and I fear it may ruin our relationship. I still love her immensly, but as a true lesbian I feel anger and utter disgust about the fact that she chose to do that. There have been times I have questioned her about how can she not want to scrub her skin off, and have litterally been sick to my stomach multiple times at the thought of the act. I love this woman with all of my heart, but I'm still not sure I can live with it. Again, I'm so sorry that happened to you as I would not wish such a thing on my worse enemy. Like you, I've tried to justify by saying, "I also did wrong." But, for some reason her wrong doesn't in any way compare to mine. My best advice....do some soul searching and determine if you can truly live with these facts or not. I am currently in that process so you're not alone. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): My GF of three years cheated on me with a guy too. I'm pretty sure it is all a control thing (with her anyway). maybe your GF likes the way she can control guys through her sexuality, it might make her feel pretty and wanted, it doesn't necessarily mean she isn't gay or that you don't make her feel like this. Maybe she feels like she needs validation from outside of your relationship. You should talk to her ask her how she feels about it and tell her exactly how your feeling. Honesty is the best policy
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Well if she's really been with guys before, she does view them differently than you would view them. It doesn't mean she's not committed to you. It sounds like she's just still very angry about you cheating on her and she's doing anything to hurt you as much as you hurt her. Try doing something romantic or something that will remind her of the times toward the beginning of your relationship and make sure she knows how sorry you are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe didn't sleep with him. And I cheated on her as well. I didn't mention that. She said it was revenge. She still argues with me about it, but when I mention something about her and a guy she screams and gets upset with me. I do love her and am still in love with her, but I can't get her to talk to me. Every thing I say she screams. Another thing I failed to mention is she has a teenaged son, so she has been with guys before. Though she was lesbian before me. I am very confused!?!?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Maybe she was just curious or she has some real daddy issues. Okay, maybe she's insecure and wants some attention so she looks for it with guys because it's easier to have guys check a girl out than other girls because look at the facts. You don't exactly run into more lesbians than you run into straight guys, so of course it's easier to get attention from a guy. It doesn't mean she likes them. But seriously, she might be curious. Penises kinda do feel better than dildos. So she slept with the guy, but she might not have had feelings for him, she might have seen him as a toy. Talk to her, though. That's what relationships are all about. :)
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female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I think your question answers itself, don't you? She likes the attention of men, she has slept with them, she likes the attention they give her. Go figure.
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