A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:When should an adult stop having crushes on people under 18? Im 18 years old and crush on people younger than me at my school. Obviously this is fine, but will it still be weird to be crushing on people in high school say when Im in college and 20+? I ask because I find people like young as 14 to be cute and I wonder if that is weird or pedophilic in anyway.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2021): You can crush on people but do not act on it with anyone underage.As a parent and grandma let me tell you this....if my daughter was 14 And was dating an 18 year old I would call the police on you.You would be arrested then put on the sexual registry.You could not get in the military go to college or even find a job.If you were my son I would warn you like I did my son.You must check to verify age of anyone you date.If you date a minor you life can be destroyed even before it really begins.Be smart only date people 18 or older....destroying your life is not worth it.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (19 June 2021):
 Slightly puzzled that you state you are 18 when your profile age states you are 26-29. Huge difference between the two ages in terms of what is acceptable and what is not.
Crushing on someone 4 years your junior is not strange. Hopefully, as you mature, the age range to which you are attracted will stay appropriate. If you were a 30 year old, crushing on a 26 year old, nobody would bat an eyelid. However, if you are still crushing on 14 year olds when you are 30, that is definitely wrong. At 18, given that girls mature faster than boys, it is probably not unusual that you crush on 14 year old girls as they are still close to your age and you will probably have a lot in common.
There is nothing wrong with appreciating the beauty of someone or something young. However, knowing where to draw the line is what will define your morals. Anyone can look at a 14 year old girl and think "she's pretty" but actually pursuing that interest would be wrong, especially if you are an adult. A 14 year old girl, whether cute or not, is legally a child and strictly out of bounds - whether you are 18 or 68.
In your shoes - if you really are 18 - I wouldn't worry about it excessively. Appreciate what you see but understand where the boundaries lie. Mix with girls your own age and, hopefully, you will forge age-appropriate relationships and forget about cute teenagers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2021): There come those times in our lives when we must institute restraint and self-control. When you realize something is unhealthy or inappropriate...better still, against the law... and that's when you learn how to ignore such urges and inclinations. Learn how to distinguish the things that are okay, and those things that border on the illegal.
You are now in your young-adult stage in your development; when you have to grow-up, and practice interacting and socializing with those who can relate to you on the same level. You have matured well beyond puberty; and can now seek romance among people 18 and over. Bad-practices become unshakeable bad-habits. What you may find yourself attracted to, may cause you a great deal more trouble than you might wish to contend with. You really didn't have to ask, because you already know the answer to your question.
The law and watchful parents will happily remind you when you find yourself forgetting where to draw the line.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2021):
 Start by using common sense.
4 years (18 and 14) is a HUGE age gap at that age. It would be like a 14-year-old "crushing on an 8-year-old. Basically. That that is a teenager crushing on a CHILD. But a 25-year-old with a 29-year-old seems more on the same level. I would even say a 21 and 25 is OK, as they are likely to be around the same level of maturity and experience.
A 14-year-old can LOOK like he/she is older (maybe 16) but how someone LOOK has little to do with common sense.
A 14-year-old has JUST become a teenager, BARELY into puberty. An 18-year-old has 4 years of "teenage experience". So there is a huge gap in growth and maturity - or rather there SHOULD be a huge gap at this point.
So you can THINK a 14-year-old is kinda cute, I get it, but it would be a ... OK, he is cute but barely a teenager. At 18 you can Drive, you can Vote, you can live on your own, at 14, you can wipe your butt but that is about it.
Is it pedophilic? No. It just shows that you are not very mature for your age. You look at a Freshman and think what? Fresh meat? Think about it. HE/SHE can't drive. If you have a date does his mommy have to drive him? Go with you? You don't find that a little... iffy being a Senior yourself?
He/She isn't even LEGAL. He CAN NOT give consent. Doesn't that give you pause? Make you think?
What do you have in common with him? You go to the same school... that isn't enough to base anything on.
I just asked my 18-year-old daughter, all she said was GROSS. So take that as you want.
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