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female
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anonymous
writes:I just need some advice really. I have been with my bf almost 2 years We love each other loads He is in the army and travels a lot. The travelling has become more and more over the last 6 months The time he is away can vary from 2 months to 2 weeks. When he first leaves i get so so upset i dont know how to deal with it I cry and worry about him. It lasts a few days; he is definatly the man for me.Advice please. Reply to this Question
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reader, Paladin  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Life is full of choices. You have the choice of thinking about the great times you have together as well as your future together or thinking in the negative. You are lucky, he is only gone for a couple months at a time. During my time the tours lasted a lot longer. If you think you are sad you can only imagine how he feels. I don't know where he is deployed but think about the guys who are or have wound up in hostile places doing the best they can to both stay alive and overcome the boredom and at the same time their missing someone and wondering what they are doing back home. The life of a soldier is a hard one and certianly one people should respect and appreciate. I know it has to be difficult for you but I suggest you do your best to keep some of those feelings to yourself when you do see him. He needs to know you are holding up and are not going to do something stupid out of loneliness. I've seen a lot of guys worry so much about what was happening back home that they became overcome with it and wound up getting hurt. Having said all this I will admit being apart is tough and the pain does not go away for either of you. If you truly love him you will find great ways to occupy your time.
A
female
reader, babiimegz +, writes (9 March 2008):
babe i feel for you. it must be very hard but you must think positivly. he must miss you too but he has to cope and so do you. so maybe papmper yourself(at home otherwse dbt could bcoe a problem) and have your friends aorund lots. keep busy so you dont have time to miss him. plan to fill your days up and then dont go to sleep until you are reallly tired and can go straigt to sleep as opposed to just lying there finking about it. good lucky x
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (9 March 2008):
 I think Eve has it broadly right although I would strongly advise against not dealing with these emotions. Instead of looking to your bf however I think you need to start talking to your friends about how you feeling and once you have given vent to your emotions then get busy.
I am sure that your friends can help with this and provide you with a viable support network, why dont you try and arrange a night out every time it is that time again? You may not feel much in the party mood so make it a DVD night or something like that; something that means you are not alone and having to deal with this alone.
Try and avoid the news; especially when he is away, this will only make you feel worse as although your bf maybe perfectly fine you will find that any adverse reports will only make you worry more. Good luck.
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female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 March 2008):
 You need to start thinking positively and keep busy! DON'T let him see you this way. 2 months is isn't that long and you can always keep in touch with him by text/email etc. The more you sit and dwell on this the longer the time will seem before he gets home again. I know it's hard and I know you must miss him but sitting crying and worrying about him isn't going to bring him back any quicker is it? Worry is a very negative emotion and it will get you absolutely nowhere! So instead, think about what you're going to do when he gets back. Concentrate on looking your best for him when he DOES get back, tone up, pamper yourself, and mark the days off in the calendar. Lose yourself in a book, that will take your time up too! Keep busy and he'll be back before you know it!
~Eve~
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