A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneI've recently lost a partner because he couldnt deal with the number of one night stands I had (4) before meeting him.When meeting guys in the future, do you think there is anything wrong with NOT telling them about that stuff (i.e. just say that I've had 6 sexual relationships). I know from reading posts on here that some guys don't like girls that have one night stands.
View related questions:
one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): Most guys won't care, if they do then hey, not worth your time. I can sortof see where he might be coming from though - when a girl I was seeing said she'd been with 20 guys I felt kinda intimidated with my relative lack of experience, which I let fuck up the whole thing. 6 isnt a big deal though, so dont treat it as one
A
female
reader, luvme247  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 I would say don't tell unless you are asked & if you are asked then say as little as possible. I would start with saying "it doesn't matter" the first couple times he asked. (Especially if you haven't been with them long)
...............................
A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (26 February 2007):
 I think you should be honest about how many other people you've been with. If somebody judges you on that, it's pretty obvious that they're not meant for you.
You should DEFINITELY tell your partner if you've picked up an STD from someone... But I think that you can be a little creative with the truth at the beginning of the relationship. Rather than telling that they were one night stands, just say the overall number of people, but never LIE about the number. As you get closer with your chosen one, I think you should eventually come clean about it. They're more likely to accept it if they know you better.
Honesty is the best way to go.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 It depends. You are taking risk...
If it turns out you get into a good long term relationship then you may have trouble keeping it a secret. These things have a way of coming out in the long run. Besides, if you get into a serious relationship then you don't really want to be keeping secrets from each other. Successful relationships need intimacy, and intimacy needs honesty.
And if it turns out that it does come out then you'll have an even worse problem: that you didn't tell the truth about it. This is twice as bad as telling the truth up-front, once you've 'lied' about it then its going to be very hard for a guy to trust you when you start telling the truth. You're very unlikely to bounce back from that.
So you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Not much help I admit, but there you go. You are certainly right that some men can have a problem with this...
My recommendation is to tell the truth from the start, but to leave out all details. ie, don't say any more than you absolutely have to. You don't need to say where, with whom, etc. That is only going to give a guy even more to worry about.
...............................
A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (26 February 2007):
 It doesnt matter if you have had 1 or 100 one night stands,that is your buissness. But I agree with you most men dont like it if women have had a lot of partners, but why do they have to know? Its up to you if when you have been with someone a while, you decide to tell them but if you choose to keep it to yourself thats your choice.
You must do what you feel is right flower and stuff anyone else.
I hope you find what you are looking for. xxxxxxxxxx
...............................
|
