A
female
age
41-50,
Felina
writes:Hi! I think all of us, men and wemen, got thru the nightmare of ending a relationship, and surviving the weeks and months after.I´ve been trough this twice, and both times I felt I would die! I was the one to break up, for several reasons.But,in the second time, I actualy loved him,but I knew we would never make each other happy.The following days and weeks were terrible.I felt so alone, I missed him so.Wen I stayed at home watching tv,there was always some commercial that reminded me of him, and then was the romantic moovies, that made me cry rivers...When I went to nightclubs with friends, there was always songs that reminded me of him, that we danced together,or that he sang,because he was a musician. I couldn't do anything without remembering of him.I felt an emptyness in my bed, in my mind, in my life. I met other man, but I just wasnt interested.All of us have bee trough this. And it always seems our lives will never be sunny again and the cloudy skies will always be there, pouring rain on our sad lifes. Then one day, the sun returns. And god, it feels good and warm. But the clowds may return...So, i thought I would write this to remember to all people with clowdy rainy skies above their heads, that the sun ALWAYS comes back. It came back for me and,even in this cold winter weather, I think its less than 5º outside, I feel warm and happy.After a while I met a really great guy, and I really love him. Sure, maybe we can break up in some months or years, but now I am just going to enjoy the sun. And if it gets cloudy and sad again, I know I will survive! Yes,there is always light in the end of the tunnel! Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (3 December 2008):
Yes, we survive, somehow, though at the time we never think we will. I am glad you found happiness again.For me, if I go through a break-up with someone I've loved (or thought I loved), it seems to take the same amount of time to get over it and truly start feeling better again, as the duration of the relationship. In other words, if we were together for 3 months, then the recovery period seems to take 3 months. If we were together for 3 years, then the recovery period takes 3 years. This is what I've experienced, though I'm sure it's different for everyone. I've actually never discussed this with any of my girlfriends, oddly enough!No matter the circumstances, I think it's best to give oneself the luxury of time between relationships, so you have a chance to grieve (or celebrate, depending on the nature of the break-up!), have some space and time to reflect, learn, and hopefully grow from the experience, and ultimately move on. If you are able to forgive the other person if need be and free yourself, then you can open yourself up to the hopefully pleasurable experience of someone new.Yes, I believe there is always light at the end of the tunnel, we just have to search it out and find it for ourselves, and want it bad enough.
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