A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When is it ok to sleep with a guy? first date, second? a month......just when i like a guy i get so sexually frustrated i want sex with them as soon as....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): men dont like easy women .sleeping on the first date seems like you will be sleeping with other guys as well.. even when the guy is CUTE and you really like him just wait..mm that happened to me unfortunately so he did't call me never again and he just got disappear.im not gonna do it it again ..the thing is that im not an easy girl it was just a mistake and i have to learn my lesson ....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): I also agree that the advice that Yos gave is excellent. He and I have experienced these feelings. My personal opinion is that it depends on your age to some extent. At the age that you show your are in the adult category. I think that those people still in their teens should wait longer than those older than 19 or 20. I think it is a mistake to have sex on the first date. That will allow the guy who just wants you for sex a few times to get it and dump you. I think that waiting for months is also not a good idea if you like the guy. You might chase a good one away. I know that some say that he will wait for months or years if he is worth, but that is just not realistic. Even a good guy will not wait too long. My personal is 2nd or 3rd date if you really think that he is after more than just sex and you want to have sex with him. It doesn't mean that you have to want to marry him. If you aren't sure then wait a few more dates.
I also agree with k c100 to a certain extent. I agree completely with the getting picked up at a bar scenario, although there are probably exceptions. I think that having sex with a guy who you have known on the first date would be different and he might not just think of you as a sex object. Even in that case I would still suggest the 2nd or 3rd date. These are just my opinions from the woman who I have dated and how I felt about them.
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A
female
reader, fyfx  +, writes (24 July 2009):
 I think there is some inherent truth to what YOS writes; but I think it goes both ways. Honestly, as a woman, I can understand your plight. There is just one thing that strikes me as a little narrow minded: Why are you worried about what the "guy" or "society" thinks? If you feel like having sex with someone and it's SAFE and CONSENSUAL then, by all means, knock one out of the ballpark equipped with fireworks and all.
Remember SAFE and CONSENSUAL one night stands with someone whom you have a weekend fling with have bonuses. You have anonymity with nothing long term. You can try all sorts of stuff or be an absolute naughty matrix without ever having to deal with this guy, his expectations or needs again. Plus if YOU are experimenting you are on your own terms. Just make sure you don't blur the lines and end up getting comfortable and letting this guy use you for free sex. He needs to use the 1-800 number they run at night and pay like every other guy.
I think you need to ask yourself, "Is this a guy you want to get your freak on with and see a few more times (or not) and call it experimentation of sewing the seeds ... or ... is he a potential keeper?" If he is a potential keeper well you got to take that into consideration.
Just a minor footnote here ... People whom read this and ponder is it socially excepted for a woman to have SAFE and CONSENSUAL sexual encounters of all sorts without being labeled by traditional stigma name calling in which their male counterparts do not bare the weight of but are ENCOURAGED. Women whom are torn by man's inconceivable notion to kiss an angel good morning and sleep with the devil at night. This isn't the stone ages labeled with backwoods biases. Some men deal with insecurities because they fear the woman has been with better lovers and did more experimentation which is intimidating. On the other hand, women fear that they will not chalk up to their male's previous lovers. Women have libidos just as men do.
Conclusion: Experiment SAFE and CONSENSUALLY and have fun. This isn't a contest and each lover and their previous experiences can ENHANCE future sexual escapades. Everyone needs to drop their egos, insecurities and expectations at the bedroom door. BOTH parties involved benefit and get rewards if the recipients of a one night stand or weekend flings. Finally when you meet the perfect "girl" or "guy" based on physical attraction, commonalities and mutual compatibilities which will sustain an emotional relationship then as a couple you will have sexual experience that will benefit you both in your sex life.
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (24 July 2009):
In my opinion, anything after the first date is good.
Every girl i've ever dated has slept with me within the first 3 dates.
The only time i really judged was if it was on the first date. Desperation is just not attractive.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 July 2009):
 You will find everyone has entirely different opinions on this matter, and what I will say is that it is totally up to you when you decide to sleep with someone.
I think that it is a personal choice - if it feels right then go for it! But if you want a serious relationship with a guy and not just a casual relationship based on sex then I think you have to wait a little while before you sleep with them.
In general (this is not the case 100% of the time) most men wont take a girl seriously if she sleeps with them right away, and will only see her as someone to have fun with/casual sex. Like if you go home with a guy you meet in a club/bar and sleep with him, the relationship will never be more than just sex (this is my experience anyway). Whereas if you start dating, go out a few times and wait maybe 2-4 weeks to sleep with them then they will see you as a potential girlfriend.
So it just depends what you want the guy to be! If you just want a bit of fun then there is nothing stopping you from having sex with him whenever you want. But if you want him to be a boyfriend, and you want something serious with him then you really should try and wait a while.
It is actually pretty exciting just kissing and getting all worked up, wanting them really bad and then just going home or something! That desire for each other is gone once you have sex, its a great feeling to really want someone and for them to want you too but you cant have each other just yet.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 July 2009):
 It's ok to sleep with a guy whenever you like. As long as you are safe and responsible.
But understanding male psychology is worth doing if you're looking for more than just a one night stand.
Guy's (most of us) separate women into two categories: 'just good for sex' and 'girlfriend material'. If you want a boyfriend, then you'll want to be in his 'girlfriend material' category. The sooner you sleep with a guy, the easier it is to find yourself in the 'just good for sex' category. The longer you leave it, the more likely you'll end up in the 'girlfriend material' category. You'll also weed out the guys who are just looking for sex rather than a girlfriend, if that's what you want to do.
The reason is because we assign some kind of 'value' to women. Men like the chase, and if you are a challenge to 'catch' then you're worth keeping... ie, 'girlfriend material'. But if you give it up on the first date then you're an easy catch, and an easy catch should just be thrown back so we can go chase something that's a more worthwhile target.
I'm not saying men don't like 'easy' women, we they just don't tend to like them as their long term girlfriends.
I'm generalising a great deal of course, but it's true for a lot of guys a lot of the time.
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