A
female
age
26-29,
*edwardelric.
writes:There's a boy that I have been really close to and a few months ago he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and since then we have been super close, hugged a lot and kissed a few times. The only thing is, my mom has no clue! She always warns be about boys and says to stay away from them. I want to tell her but she will freak out and I will be in serious trouble! Please help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): See, didn't we tell you so! It isn't good to hide things from your parents, if you want their trust. They are quicker to give you freedom and permission when they know they can trust you, and they know you'll listen when they offer you their advice.
A
female
reader, .edwardelric. +, writes (3 February 2015):
.edwardelric. is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the answers! I told her and she was a bit angry at first but calmed downed. The boy is super nice and very trustworthy.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (1 February 2015):
 Hi
Maybe your mother will cope with the fact that you are growing up, maybe she will not.
but it is entirely normal to have crushes on boys at your age.
Your mother would most appreciate if you can be frank with her. Try to listen to her views and don't react. Reacting can escalate things in not OK ways.
What you mother cannot stop is the gradual changes that are normal as you get a little older each day. It can be a time of big changes for you. And sometimes a little scary for your mother.
Even if you sense that you are growing and learning and finding out more about your strengths AND coping with all that the school year will throw at you this year .... while all that is happening you are still your mother's daughter.
Your mother wants the best for you. She does not want to see you hurt and she certainly does not want to see you disrespected. Your mother really does care about you.
Maybe start off with a discussion with your mother and ask her how were things for her when she was a teenager. Your Mother may even enjoy telling you a little more. Then you can raise the issue that there is this boy you like... and watch and listen and observe her reaction.
Tell her truthfully that the boy you like is a very nice boy and would she like to meet him?
I like WiseOwlE's answer too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): Parents have ways of finding out things even if you're very good at hiding them. If she finds out, she will be more angry that you hid it from her and defied her wishes; than the fact you have a boyfriend.
I think you should sit down and tell her you met a very nice boy who likes you, and you like him too. You didn't want to tell her at first; because you worried she would be angry. Ask her to meet him before she makes an opinion of him.
She may very well freak out as you say. You will have gained her trust; because you at least came forward in honesty to let her know you respect her wishes. She has to know that you listen to her and respect her advice; because boys will steal your heart and take advantage of you. It happened to her, that's why she is like this. She loves you, and protects you.
Let me know how things go, my dear.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (31 January 2015):
 She needs to know for three reasons: trust, communication and safety.
As long as you tell her (and prove) that you'll be very careful and won't rush things, I think she'll be more accepting.
You need to understand why she says what she does and always be open and honest with her about this :)
Whatever you do, don't lie and sneak!
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