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female
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anonymous
writes: I am stuck in a love triangle!My boyfriend and I broke up nearly 2 months ago. We had been together nearly 3 years. I am 25, he is 26. We both live with our parents still but we were planning on moving in together and planning on having a future together. I found out he cheated on me (kissed) another woman on a stag do. They kept in contact and arranged to meet (we had already split by then). Turns out there was nothing special there for him anyway. He had been unsure of his feelings for me for nearly a year. So we split, more of a break really. Things had not been great for months either. He always got angry with me and didn't really want to take me anywhere or do anything - just stay in. He was unable to be affectionate towards me too. So this made me feel rubbish!I met someone who I have known for a few years anyway and always quite fancied them. I was drunk and ended up sleeping with this person (not normal behaviour for me)! I thought oh well it's just a one night thing but the guy wanted my phone number and wanted to keep seeing me. He said he wants a relationship with me. I have been seeing him for a month and taking it very slowly. We are not sleeping together either so it's not just about sex. We will only sleep with each other again if we get together properly. This guy makes me so happy and I can't stop thinking about him. I like everything about him. He is also very affectionate, caring and we get on so well. I don't think it's a rebound as I am fairly happy in my own company and don't feel I need this person. I don't feel so strongly for someone on a rebound either.Since this my now-ex boyfriend asked me when I bumped into him one night if I was seeing anyone, so I said I was. He got very upset and lied saying he had three people on the go. He then broke down and said he hadn't been seeing anyone and his life had been rubbish since we split up! The next day he said he wanted me back and that he wanted us to move in together, get married and the whole lot and has said he wants to take me away for a weekend in Paris. This is everything I wanted but it seems to be too late. When I kiss him now the feeling for him seems to have gone. If I tell him its over I fear I may get the feeling back later. However my feelings for the new guy are stronger than they are for my ex. I am going mad over this and need some advice. The new guy wants me to tell the ex its over and I risk losing both!x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2005): Just make a decision..it's one or the other! If you are thinking of a future with someone then choose the man who would love and commit to you forever. The one who would provide the best emotional and physical life for you and your future children. The one who loves you dearly. It sounds like the ex bf is a dutz in this department...you'd be nuts if you chose him! The current bf sounds like he's sincere and cares for you, just for who you are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2005): Dear, I fail to see what the problem is here. Judging from your posting, you owe absolutely nothing to your ex-fiancee. But you do owe it to your new bf, to show respect for him and end it it once and for all with the ex-bf. And c'mon, you are a 25 years old mature, insightful, grown up woman-quit being wishy washy! (This isn't high school, hun) Your indecisiveness will tell your new bf, just how silly and immature you are behaving over this. Ending it with the ex will not make you "get your feelings" back. He's a cheater! He proved to you...he's not worthy-he proved he can disrespect you and cause you pain. Why on earth would you even consider a "relationship" with a man who is a liability? Just end it with the ex and enjoy your newfound love with this new guy. Take Care and good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2005): You should tell ur ex that he has hurt you and made you feel as you say- rubbish.
tell him youre not sure if you want him back and that you want to give urself a chance, without him.
Njoy the new guy and give it a go- maybe this is the rite person for u. remember it wasn't u who was at fault for the split in the first place, so u have the upper hand.
he messed up- not u.
the new man sounds lovely and ur lucky to have met someone new so soon who intersts you so much. maybe splitting up with ur ex was just wat the doctor ordered!!
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A
female
reader, lyndsey +, writes (1 November 2005):
Get rid of the ex he had his chance, he only wants you back because he knows your happy with someone else. Trust me ive been here and when your feelings are gone there gone. From your ex's point of view he does'nt want you but does'nt want anyone else to have you.This new guy sounds great don't hurt him like this or your sure to loose him.If your ex truly loved you he'd wait forever wouuld'nt he.
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