A
female
age
30-35,
*aura94
writes:Me and my ex has been broken up for 3weeks now but I still cant help but think of him, my friends think i'm over him but I Dont know what to do, as i get upset when I Hear his name or see something that we did together or anthing that reminds me of him. Could you please tell me or adive me what to about this or how to get over him or should I just tell him i still like him?
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female
reader, laura94 +, writes (15 April 2011):
laura94 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone who helped and gave me some advice, just to let you all know where back with each other now and have been for a month now. thank you again
A
female
reader, laura94 +, writes (24 February 2011):
laura94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone, sometimes its hard to believe the way im feeling but i dont think it helps as i have known him all my life, and i still want to be friends with him if nothing else and i know he wants to be friends to as we have spoken to each other today, which also helped a lot. so thanks for the advice and everything, and i'll let you know how it goes when we meet up and chat thanks again :)
xxxx
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 No,sweetheart, don't tell him anything. When he gave you his reasons for breaking up , he basically meant that he is not interested enough to make space for you in his life. People who want to be together some times have to face much bigger challenges yet they find a way.
"The first cut is the deepest " but you are young and you will surely find some other guy who will make space in his life for you.
As for now, ...be patient, 3 weeks is nothing, it takes time to process this kind of disappointments you know ?
keep yourself busy, spend time with your friends, and start planning organizing or at least day-dreaming cool things that you want to do in your future : this will help you look forward rather than backward.
As for deleting th e-mails....:) I know.. I am much older than you , yet I had the same difficulty ! Call a trusted friend and let her do it.
All the best
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 February 2011):
 doesn't matter how young you are, i know it doesn't make you feel any less hurt. regarding deleting the messages, if you can't delete them, don't. but i really think you should because whatever sweet things he said, it is not the way he feels now. if you don't have the strength to delete them, try and and at least have the strength to not read them again, as you see, for this purpose it would be easier for you if they were gone from your phone.
yes he has given you reasons that he wanted to finish, but the bottom line is this: if he wanted to be with you he would. he could still work and have SOME time with you. he could still go on holiday but still have you in his life, or even go away less. the holidays are not compulsory. he has given you these reasons to try to spare your feeling and that is admirable of him, but in a way worse because it still gives you something to cling onto.
you will get over him but it just takes time unfortunately. it is always good to talk these things out, and yes your friends may get sick of hearing about it but it'll do the trick, and then hopefully they will be able to get the benefit from talking to you when this happens to them. nobody goes through life without getting their heart broken
xx
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A
female
reader, laura94 +, writes (22 February 2011):
laura94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI havent been with him for long but I also think it hurts more as I have known him all my life.He did tell me why he broke up with me he said 'he doesnt have much time to see me as he is working two jobs and going on hoildays all the time and he wants to travel. People have broken up with me as I have broken up with others as well however I havent felt like this when someone has broken up with me.You might think i'm young a i'll get over him soon, but if I cant I have tried deleting his messages but everytime I try I find it hard and cant do it.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (20 February 2011):
hi
3 weeks is early days to be over someone, so don't be inpatient with yourself, don't worry, you WILL get over this in time. little by little, so subtle you won't even notice it, until one day you will say to yourself 'hey, i've not thought about him today!'
do you know WHY he broke up with you? has he given you a satisfactory explanation? you are very young so i am GUESSING you had not been with him too long and that you do not have much experience of splitting up with guys in the past, but take it from me who is a LOT older than you and has had their heartbroken loads of times - you WILL get over it and when this happens it will have taught you a lesson in emotional survival.
why not have a talk to him, if there is any chance the relationship can be salvaged. you have nothing to lose, except a little bit of pride if he says no, in which case you will soon get over the bruised ego, and at least you will have closure instead of the perpetual 'what if?'
if you DO want to get over him though follow these rules...
anything he bought for you or gave to you either throw away or put it out of sight until you feel stronger
do not listen to music that reminds you of him
do not go to places you know he hangs around
do not snoop on his social network page
delete any messages or texts he sent to you
tell your friends that you do not want them to tell you any gossip about him
keep yourself as busy as you can
come onto dear cupid and give advice to other people in your situation, you may find this therapeutic to yourself if you follow your own advice
get exercise, eat well, drink plenty of water (sounds silly but don't dismiss it! it is great for the brain)
best wishes
xx
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A
female
reader, laura94 +, writes (20 February 2011):
laura94 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe ended it, it hard trying to think of something he did to upset me or annoy me because i cant think of anything we only argued the onces and that was sorted out right away and after that it all seemed perfect until he broke up with me. sorry to hear about your boyfriend breaking up with you after four years. thanks for the help. xxx
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A
female
reader, cherlvzpink +, writes (20 February 2011):
I an in a similair situation my boyfriend broke up with me just before new year and i am still not over it i still get upset all the time and we were together for nearly four years i have tried to get back with him etc and he is just not interested anymore. I think their may be some one else but i dont have solid proof. You have not said whether you ended it or he did? I mean if you did and you feel you made a mistake it may be good to find out if theres still hope or even if he did then at least you know you have tried . and dont worry what your friends think it has only been a couple of weeks of course your not going to be over it you need to give yourself time to heal, getting over someone is never easy but instead of thinking of all the good times try and think of the times he upset you or did something to annoy you x
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