A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice about sex. I'm just feeling so weird about it at the moment. I've been with my partner for 2 years and he's amazing: he gives me loads of attention and wants to please me every time. However, I just don't get it. Mentally and physically, I feel nothing when I have sex. Sometimes, if we haven't done it for a while, it's exciting, but I am always searching for more. People talk about how special sex is and I know that it's true, I just want to feel that when I do it. I can't have an orgasm when I'm with someone else and, to be honest, sex really does nothing for me physically at all. Mentally, it just seems like it's all about him once we start having sex, as I'm just waiting for him to come. How can I change all this? Sex just isn't turning into what I always thought it would when I met someone I loved. I know I can't make it any more mhysically pleasurable, that's just the way it is for some women, I know, but how can I make it more emotionally enjoyable? I want it to be equally about me and him and I want to get more out of it. Is this possible?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007): For woman sex happens in the mind and heart. We crave security and love. It's built into us. We can't change that about ourselves. Men, on the otherhand can have sex with any woman and walk away without another thought about her. He doesn't equate sex with love. We can't do that. So some woman struggle with having an organsm because inside they don't feel a sense of protection, security, and love deep inside of them. That's why married couples usually expericen the best sex-they've both agreed to be bond to one exclusive person. It frees the woman to give herself wholeheartedly to someone and she's has the added secrity of knowing he's not going to leave her for someone else. This isn't always the case (ie divorces, straying, etc) but it is in 99% of the cases.
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 If you want to enjoy it more, maybe you can ask him to do stuff for you that you would enjoy.
I become physically happy when somebody is stroking me, so usually I asking my boyfriend to massage me. Other people like indulging in long kisses and such.
I don't know what you enjoy, but try to find out for yourself, and then ask your partner to do you a couple of "favors". Then maybe you won't feel it's all about him.
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A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (27 March 2007):
 hello
i think you have to talk to him about it or you make a spical room for it let your fantasy in that room go wild make your own candels holder spray the ground of see sand
and make that monent beeing with him holding him like a pray try to block all other thoughts about any thing else , becouse making love and enjoying it is like our need to the water some times you feel thersty and you fain clean nice water but dont enjoy it becouse of the dirty glas,
good luck
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