A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:how do i get over this: I had my boyfriend, and he cheated on me and when I confronted him he said he didn't do anything, then he didn't want to talk about it, he left.That only tells me one thing, that is it true and I don't know how to cope with it. I'm so crushed. What do I do, do I go see him? Do I let him go and control myself? what do I do?I just can't wait for him I want to go over there :(
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 Hi,What's going on in this world? We are all different people living the same life!!! This is the time you cannot think effectively. Believe me, I know how you feel. I just ended a 10 years relationship a year ago. No need to explain how you feel. I know... Shaking, shocked, pain, anger, embarrassment, confused, hurt, betrayal, etc. I was in emotional, mental, physical pain, to the point I cry everyday, and was throwing up. First, how do you know he's cheating? Do you have concrete proof? Someone told you? Best way to confront him is to have enough proof so he cannot deny. Even if you have proof, he will deny, so don't be surprise. You said he left? Doesn't mean anything. 1) maybe you are right, he's cheating, you caught him off guard, didn't know what to do, and left? OR,2) he's not cheating, got mad, annoyed with your accusations, and left. So, your job is to get to the bottom, because you don't deserve to be with a man, feeling insecure. This feeling takes all your energy, painful, and nobody should live life feeling this way. Try to find proof? When you do approach him next time, try to be calm. Start conversation as nice way possible, explain yourself to him. Why you feel this way? Tell him that you just need him to be honest with you. Tell him that you love him, that putting you through this agonizing feeling is unfair to you. Tell him that if he's not happy with you, you want to know, see if you both can work on relationship? Those are my suggestions, o am sure you have more things to say, and ask. What's important here is to find the truth, and the best way is to be calm, civil... Because if you are angry, screaming, pressuring him, he will never talk or tell you the truth. Hope this helps. Hope you are wrong about him, that you both can stay together, happy. Keep us post. Good luck
A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 Let him go and don't let him come back. I have been through this. I kicked my cheater out and never allowed him to converse with me about anything other that financial ties.Once the ties were broken, I went NC. I am 100 percent over it and he (from what I hear) is miserable. If he hurt you once, he will again. You can't control the first time her hurt you but you can certainly control if there is a second time
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 September 2011):
 I know it's heartbreaking. But what will happen if you do go over to see him? What do you expect to happen? You need to distract yourself somehow. Bake a cake, watch a movie, learn to knit, go see your friends, whatever you can do to keep yourself occupied. It's really heartbreaking now, but time heals all wounds.
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