A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, The thing is this, I am seeing a guy, even though we are not technically boyfriend and girlfriend, there is an attraction between us. However he is seperated, he has been for 11 years, and he has 3 kids... well teenagers. His wife has clearly continued her life as she is living with a guy and they have two kids. However the fact is this, I talk to him about what he wants from the future and I think he is just scared to really say what will happen. I would like to have a husband and a child at least till I am 30 years old. We talked about that, I mean maybe living together and see where it goes from there but I would feel much at ease is he got annulled and then we give it a shot. He told me that it's not that he doesnt want to, he would have even more kids, but we don't even know where the relationship is as we have not started officially our relationship, even thought we talk about kids and marriage. I feel good when I am with him. We feel close and at ease. What shall I do as when we don't meet up as I need time alone to see things clearly I miss him, when I am with him I feel good but I don't want to invest in something that will be doomed from the start to end (as even if we live together and he doesn't get annulled - he will never be my husband. This time I am ready for commitment .Thanx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): First of all relax. Second of all. Don't jump ahead of yourself. Let things just happen. No fear. Your still young.
And most importantly, stop initiating these conversations and let him express himself FIRST, next time around. It may take a week. It may take a month. But if he really likes you this relationship WILL evolve and you WILL get what you want.
In the meantime, show him you love him in other ways besides talking about marriage and the future. That takes away the element of excitement in a new relationship. Be exciting, unpredictable, mysterious, independent. Men love that. Don't plan your future and your entire existence around him. Let HIM initiate that kind of talk and worry about that for a change. If he really likes you HE WILL.
Just give him lots of kisses, lots of attention, and at the same time give him SPACE. And stop worrying so much and, instead believe in yourself and believe in him. The more you believe in yourself the more he will believe your worth it.
And as soon as you have him HOOKED (as in you're in a relationship), tell him that he needs to get annulled or you'll leave him.
A
female
reader, Ileana +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Okay maybe things may change with him as his feelings grow for you. The question is are you ready to wait and see? If not you need to tell him what you want, maybe he will compromise with you. If he refuses to budge even a little of the way he should understand that he has done everything and you havent therefore should let you go and find another man who wants the same things as you do.
If you want to talk you know where i am.
All my love sweetie
Ileana
xxxxxx
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