| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 6 years.We would get together every now and then to have a few drinks.We always ended up staying the night together then the next morning we went our seperate ways.He knew everything about my relationships. About 1 year ago we started hanging out together all the time. I was in a relationship and was not happy. I also had been seeing someone else. He knew this and had no problem with it.About 8 months ago we started having strong feelings for each other. I ended both of my relationships to be with him. I had never felt so strongly for someone. He was worried that I would cheat on him. I assured him I wanted only him.As time went on he would get drunk and accuse me of being unfaithful. It just kept getting worse and worse when he would drink. He was always sorry the next day and said he was trying to trust me. He asked me to be patient and it would get better. It hasn't.When he's sober its really really good. I love him so much. We both say we are willing to do anything to make it work. His drinking I feel is our problem. I don't know what I should do. I don't think he feels its a problem. I'm out of ideas. Could you please give me some advice? jesse
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008): hey hunni
my advice 2 u wood b if u realy love him stay with him no matter what, wise he'll just feel like ur givin up on him!! it does sound like he has a problem but if he doesn't agree then just surport him anyway. like u said he is still tryin to trust u so dont GIVE UP!!
It sounds like ur both made 4 eachother so dont let anyfink get in ur way of havin a lovin and desont relationship and may b even a future 2gether...
if hes not the 1 u will no!!!
Hope it goes well
Love Ez xxx
A
male
reader, Amore +, writes (29 July 2005):
Hi!
This is a nasty problem, but i'm going to agree with jess18maine here. An ultimatum is the only answer: The drink, or you. if he does give up the drink, the most important thing you must do is SUPPORT HIM. If he can't give up the drink by himself, then ask if he would consider drinking support groups.
As for the accusations ... well, when he is sober tell him what an arsehole he had been when he was drunk, and remind him that you ended two relationships because you weren't happy, and threaten to do the same again.
What he needs hun, is a reality check, support, and the ultimatum. He cannot drink, if he risks his relationship
Good Luck hun, Amore
...............................
A
female
reader, jess18maine  +, writes (29 July 2005):
 Hey Hun,
I agree it sounds as though the problem is his drinking. You need to tell him, that it's is drinking or you, and if he does not pick you then, i guess his drinking is more important. Don't let his drinking rule your relationship any longer, my mother is an alcholic and I never have been able to get any where with her relationship wise. My child hood was hell, Don't let him ruin your love life. Tell him, "we only fight when you drink so whats the problem here?" and if u ask him to stop drinking you need to as well, even if ur drinking is not the problem. also if you ask him to just slow down the drinking I doubt anything will change, he'll still get drunk sumtimes. Good luck, I don't want you to let his drinking ruin your life, know that you know what the problem is, it's your fault if you dont take contorl. Good luck, drinking is hard and it will get worse before it gets better, and when he does quit if he does he may get get meaner because hes going though a withdrawal. Alcohole is as much as a drug as pot. Best of luck too you hun.
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (28 July 2005):
So what do the two of you have in common with your clothes on other than drinking? Doesn't sound like much of a relationship. He's a drunk. YOU have known that for a long time. Why are you complaining now? If this is not what you want, either talk to him into changing, or move on. Its next to impossible to live with someone who has such a low self esteem that he goes around accusing you of being unfaithful. Its his problem. Don't make it yours. And, don't let him get away with accusing you of being unfaithful. He is trying to control you. If he starts accusing you, chew him out! What he is saying is mean, hurtful, and extremely insulting. I had a case where the guy would drink up his paycheck every Friday nite, and then go home to his wife and four kids, all under 7 years of age, and accuse her of cheating on him. It got so bad, that he was arrested when the kids went to the neighbors to report he had knocked her down and wa carving his initials into her inner thigh. The police photos showed one inch letters carved with a pocket knife! He may not take you this far, but how far are you willing to go? pops
...............................
|
