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age
26-29,
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writes: Well my best friend started dating a family friend a couple of months ago. My friend over heard them talking and we found out her boyfriend called her fat or something like that or had to lose weight. Well she is now on a diet is doing a lot of exercise and i mean a lot like over exercising. You can now see her ribs and I barely see her eat anymore.What should i do should i ask her about it or should i forget it.I really need help 'casue shes 15 he's 18 and he is changing her to what he likes. She also never talks to us anymore she is always with him and she is constantly lying to us.So what shouild I do and does this sound wrong and she has some sort of eating disorder.PLEASE HELP!!!!Thanks guys
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Talk to somebody you trust in a high position in your school about consulting Connexions or a similar organisation operating in your area - theyre designed to tactfully deal with situations like these.
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Ugh, NOBODY should change just to please somebody. This sounds very worrying. You say there is no counselor but is there a school nurse? Surely there is someone similar to that where you can talk to about this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for you answers. I don't think there is a consullor in school. So who do I go to now cause my head of year is away
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female
reader, Accountable +, writes (6 February 2010):
Yes, from the information youve given it sounds as though she has an eating disorder - maybe due to her boyfriend putting pressure on her, maybe because of her own insecurities.
Definitely do not ignore this. I know you say she is distancing herself from you, so it may seem hard to approach her (especially with a topic which is already difficult to bring up) but it is essential that she knows she has your support if there is anything wrong. If she is in this bad place she may react badly to you voicing your concerns to her. Don't be afraid of getting an adult you trust involved; if there turns out to be nothing wrong, they wont think you were wasting their time, and if there is something wrong then their help will be invaluable. There should be some kind of counsellor at your school that you could ask about it - I went through a similar situation with a friend who was self-harming in highschool and it really is best to ask a few select people for their help. Dont feel like you have to handle this alone - in the end your friend may need the kind of support which is more than you alone can give.
Ideally you should address this as soon as you can; dont be afraid that youve gotten things wrong and will offend her. That is a possibility, but its much better to try to help and have misunderstood, than to ignore it if she does actually need help.
Good luck - if you need any more help just ask!
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female
reader, Emma13  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 this happened to my friend too! i know its hard to watch, you should talk to her and try to make her see reason. its obvious that this guy is not right for her and will probably end up dumping her over something so trivial. it will be really hard to get through to her if she has gone to such lenghts but you can only try. Remember she is probably in love with him so be gentle. when the day comes that he does dump her it will be a relief but she will most likely be depressed so just give her support and love and she will get over it....well no garantees...good luck!
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female
reader, Emma13 +, writes (6 February 2010):
this happened to my friend too! i know its hard to watch, you should talk to her and try to make her see reason. its obvious that this guy is not right for her and will probably end up dumping her over something so trivial. it will be really hard to get through to her if she has gone to such lenghts but you can only try. Remember she is probably in love with him so be gentle. when the day comes that he does dump her it will be a relief but she will most likely be depressed so just give her support and love and she will get over it....well no garantees...good luck!
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