A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:When my bf is in a bad mood, he ignores me. He wont tell me about his problems or what really happened. This really upsets me because I feel like I must be a bad gf because he wont let me be there for him. I want to support him, but I dont know how becuase he pushes me away!!!Becuase of this, I feel like I cant depend on him for support either because it feels like hes against talking about feelings. Sometimes I feel like hes with me for the wrong reasons, like jsut to get a bit of action or something. I feel like hes not taking part in one of the most important parts of a r/ship- supporting each other in times of need. He seems to get in a really bad mood atleast a couple of times a week. And so he wont really talk to me, and then if I have a problem hes not there for me, he wont even know about it, becuase hes too bad sulking by himself. I feel like hes not there for me.I just feel so insecure and vunerable in our r/ship. I just feel like i never know whats going to happen because he could have a bad day and he wont be there for me. and i cant be there for him because he pushes me away. I dont know what to do....I constantly feel anxious and worried. I feel frustrated that i cant do anything to help him. I feel like i must be a bad gf. Im 20 years old and my bf is 24.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): My BF is exactly like this also, and we're a much older couple. Normally it's because he doesn't feel good (had health problems) but also it seems like he picks a fight with me every weekend. It pisses me off because they're my only days off from work. Here's my take on this : when men start feeling too close, there's too much intimacy, they can't handle it and pull away. Sometimes they just go into their cave and need to be left alone. If you go into the cave, you'll get burned. It's frustrating for me because the reasons that he gets mad at me are ridiculous, but I understand what's going on. It is the way he is. I either have to learn to deal with it or go on with me life without him. He's not going to change-he's 48 yrs. old and has a LOT of baggage, but all in all he's a great guy or I would have been gone long ago. It's just a huge pain to deal with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Women like to talk about problems, men like to sit back and think about them and churn them over in their mind. If you keep on at him he'll probably retreat even further into his own little think tank. Some men don't feel like they're 'real men' if they can't sort out their problems on their own.
I'm sure you're not a bad girlfriend so don't think that way.
If my partner tells me 'we need to talk' or something similar, I instantly think 'what the hell's it going to be THIS time?' Just let him know that you're concerned about whatever it is that's bothering him, and that you've got open ears if he needs to talk to you about it - and if it's got anything to do with a relationship problem you'd rather know what it is than be left in the dark about it so that you can do something about it.
Men can be just as confusing as women sometimes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): My boyfriend was the exact same, i think every guy is like that!! Just give him time and keep reasuring him your there if he needs to talk however if you are feeling that you cant relie on him let him know cos thats totally out of order!!
My boyfriend and I kept breaking up cos he wouldnt talk to me and I felt like I couldnt relie on him when times got tough but I said it to him and now we are stronger then ever..
good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Fran Rose  +, writes (15 May 2009):
Hi hun,
I had this problem a couple of months ago with my own boyfriend, i felt really down all the time and i loved him so much i couldnt leave him for it either.
Its not right that he makes you feel like that. you need to confront him on how you feel and let him know that its pushing you away from him.
Dont think that your a bad girlriensd at all be strong, Let him know you are there if he does ever wanna talk. He will talk to you when he wants to.
Also writing a letter will really help you get your feelings acrtoss to him with out him walking away from you.
you will be fine just be strong hunnie!!
xx
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Maybe this is his way of dealing with things, I deal with things in the same way as your boyfriend. Why don't you write him a letter voicing your feelings. Tell him what you have noticed about his way of dealing with things, tell him how it makes you feel and then suggest ways that it can be resolved. Bu putting it in a letter he won't feel as if he is being confronted! A letter gives him chance to take time to read and understand things. X
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A
female
reader, molly4 +, writes (15 May 2009):
 I know what you mean. But my experience with a guy like this was when I was in Year 9. Don't let this guy bring you down, he needs to grow up. Don't spend time worrying what you did wrong, and dont fret over what to do or say when he is in one of his moods. Either leave or talk to him, don't let him make you walk on eggshells, you deserve better. xoxo
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