A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was with this guy 7 months,it was just sex really in the beginning,then a relationship did form and we got on really well,we was going to move in together but he got cold feet,he has never been married before and is in his 40s.anyway things were going great,then all of a sudden he starts to get distant making excuses not to come round. then he tells me he doesnt want a relationship, doesnt want to settle down, he has been single for to long and doesn't think he can change his ways, i'd be best of forgetting him and find someone who can give me what i want,Well after 7 months i'm in love with this guy,and still want to carry on seeing him, so it did carry on for a couple more weeks then i got fed up with the excuses so i finished it, i had fisnished it a few times before but he always came back. Four days went past and didnt hear anything, so i phoned him and begged him to come back to me, but he wouldn't. just said it would be cruel to me what he is doing to me. Two weeks later i find out he is moving to another town 60 miles away and is seeing someone he says he met there while looking for lodgings. why couldnt he just of told me if there was someone else?but it does seem from women he has been with in the past, is he chases them,makes them feel they are the one for him then when he gets bored he justs up's sticks and leaves.he also got a women pregnant last year and isnt interested.Why i'm so upset is that all these plans he had for me and him in the future. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): There's loads of guys around like that, they like the sexual spark and excitement at the beginning of the relationship. Then as soon as the girl starts developing feelings and wanting a commitment they're off looking for their next bit of excitement. It's hurtful I know, but you will be wary of the signs next time. As to why he didn't tell you he'd met someone else, he was probably two timing you anyway hence the statement it would be cruel to you etc. Forget about a waster like this, the fact he got a girl pregnant and is not interested says a lot about his character. Get shot of him, you're well rid.
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Not all relationships work out. I'm sure you wouldn't want him to be with you and be unhappy. You don't know if he's just dating this someone else or trying for a relationship. You made the decision to call him after you made the decision to split up. Have you learned anything about yourself from doing that? I have a philosophy, "never go back" once I have a breakup (unless it's just for a romp, and everyone is perfectly clear on that). Too much to describe here as to why. It's better to have found out now where you both stand, than 2 years from now. Let it go, and move on with "your life" to greater and better things.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Apparently this is one of those guys who are afraid of relationships, for psychological reasons, and keep making excuses for themselves not to get involved with women. I think you should forget about him.
Even if there were no unresolved issues, his behavior is really bad. He just gives you hope and then he dumps you. I think he doesn't deserve your time, madam.
...............................
A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Ouch is all I could feel for you hun!! I know of many guys like this and its red flags everywhere!! Afraid of committment and obviously he has issues beyond repair.He would be theonly one to notice he hurts alot of women and that isnt right! To get therapy or something to help put his demons to rest.I come from alot of experience as I struggled with the fear of betrayel time and time again. I got therapy and kicked my demons to rest for good.Worked on me being a better person for everyone as I know I didnt help but hurt the marriage that I was in for many years.I would catch someone and "give up" holding the fear of being let down and betrayed.Now, I realize that betrayel is part of life and we all experience pain here and there.We cant stop who hurts us but to learn from our mistakes leading us to go after the ones that harm us.I hope you continue moving on and I know that is so hard to do.Be thankful that you werent with him for a longer time as that would hurt alot longer and deeper! You are stronger and more acceptable than he is and notice the red flags in the future. Listen to your gut and not your heart hun!! Life is hard enough not having to be confused or in pain over something we can not change! Stay strong and find something that makes you happy..write in a journal if you feel you have to talk to him or contact him.Look back in your journal to see how far you have come and that you deserve better!! Good Luck hun!! :)
...............................
|
