A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi thereIv been seeeing my bf almost a year and think the world of him Im in my 20s and him his early 30s. He has kids from a previous realtionship and do to work doesn't get to see them often (once a month for a few days.)He is my first bf and when we started off we were long distance as he moved around the country with work. I got to see him about three times a month and then when his job changed he moved closer to me. When he was traveling around i had panick attacks and worried about him so bad. if i didnt hear from him I would cry for ages when he left me too.I now see him 4/5 times a week I can be quite insecure and worry if hes going off me I dont know if its coz hes older but i just wish i could be more like him, laid back and relaxed about everything, instead of worrying myself silly.Anyway, he is going to be going away with work again for around 8 weeks at the begining of july. I can go and see him during the first few weeks but it quite a journey and im a very nervous driver. I also worry about him while hes away and if he doesnt answer his phone or text straight back begin to panic. It seems silly as i write this but i have no control over it and the panic attacks get worse until i hear from him and then the panick goes away.i can feel myself begining to panic and worry now. its coming up to the time when hes going away. I dont wanna be a total mess again like last time. I wanna be able to relax and have fun, too. Does anyone have and sugestions? I just miss him so much and at the moment dont know how ill cope when hes not around. I hate being so dependant on someone and have tried to take up hobbies but nothing seems to take my mind off him when im panicking.
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Hun... Do you trust him? I mean REALLY REALLY trust him? It sounds kinda like you really don't know whether he'll stick around for you or not. I understand that it may be becoz he ain't around an awful lot, but if you really don't trust him then I'm not sure you should be with him.
If you really think that he's worth it and that he's the "one" then when you feel nervous or anxious, maybe go round to a mates house? talk about it with them or just have some fun. It sounds like you're closing yourself in and that leads you to think about all the horrible possibilities. Just try not to be alone so much, get out there and have some fun with your mates.
When you feel horrible, take a deep breath and say " well, it's his loss if he does do anything stupid." But I'm quite sure he won't.
Go out clubbing or shopping with mates, you don't need to think about him all the time, if he calls you and asks if you're ok, just say "yeah, I'm great, having lots of fun, I do miss you and can't wait for you to come home though"
Go on girl, get out there! Try not to worry.
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