A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:random question; when guys joke about sex, what are they getting at? lol there is this guy who always jokes about cuddling with me, tickling me, or random things that have to do with sex.is he just being funny, does he wanna jump my bones, is he trying to see how i react to these things to know if i like him (maybe he's shy and doesnt know how to approach me), ... or what?xoxothx in advance.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 March 2011):
Hello again. He definitely does seem shy.
He does sound like a decent young man, and that's positive.
When he talks about other girls - when he knows you can hear him - you can be assured that he is trying to get a reaction from you, slight jealousy namely, which clearly tells him that you DO like him.
I'd say that's what he is trying to find out - if you like him or not. People don't feel jealousy if they aren't romantically interested in someone.
It's a way for him to indirectly find out that information for himself. It's a pretty good way. Perhaps a little immature, but he is only a young man and hasn't experienced a lot in life yet, so it's just his way of finding out without asking you himself. Don't be too concerned about it, because it does show that he likes you and is trying to get your attention. It's just his way.
Sounds like it's working, don't you think? Well, at least it's making you take notice of him.
So anyway, from now on, just say "Hi" to him whenever you see him and be nice and friendly and respectful towards him, and just see how it goes over time.
But yes, I definitely believe he likes you quite a bit. All the signs of his behaviour point in that direction. So it's just a matter of time before you two probably become an item. But like I said in my earlier post, don't try to rush things. There's plenty of time.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is shy though, around me anyways. we barely talk, only on very rare occasions. and then out of nowhere he does or says these random crazy things... the things described above plus I catch him starring (sometimes he looks away, sometimes it's crazy intense), he messes up what he's saying when i walk in the room, etc.
then there was this one time when he completely ignored me for like 3 days. he'd go quiet and look away when he saw me, and talk about other girls when he knew i could hear.
I'm kind of thinking he is trying to get my attention and see my reaction ? but i'm not sure.
he's very respectful, very polite, my parents love him, my DOG loves him lol (which is saying something, cause she hates everyone but me haha), he rarely swears (just while playing video games :P), never abusive at all; soo caring.
the situation is so hard to describe, and complicated lol. I wish i were a mind reader.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (13 March 2011):
Hi there. I think that maybe he is a little shy, and it might be his way of breaking the ice with you, I guess.In any case, it seems pretty clear that he probably does like you. If he didn't, he wouldn't bother saying those things to you.My suggestion, is to just start talking to him. Don't egg him on about the suggestions he makes. Instead, try to get to know him a bit more - his likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies etc., and just see how it goes and what he says and how he expresses himself.Also, in getting to know him better, see how he actually talks to you - (1) Does he speak respectfully?(2) Does he use foul language?(3) Does he seem to be a caring person?(4) Is he considerate?(5) Is he violent or short tempered? (This one is a red flag to be very aware of.)There are so many things to look out for, when getting to know someone. The main thing is that you don't want to be taken for granted, or treated badly. You want to be treated with respect and dignity, always.Another important thing to consider is, once you do get talking to each other, don't allow yourself to get drunk and then jump into bed with him straight away. If you do, he might then start to take you for granted, or worse still, it could become an FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationship. You don't want that, believe me. That's a great way to get your heart broken and feeling very used and abused.So, take it slowly, and treat him with kindness and respect, and keep it light and friendly. If you start to go out - on dates - wait for a couple of weeks, before you do decide whether he is worthy of giving yourself to him in that special way. You'll know when the time is right or whether it's not right.Whatever you do, don't rush anything. Just see how it all pans out.Take care and best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Guys can be VERY obtuse when trying to show they like a girl. Perhaps this guy is just very awkward?
If he's making sexual references, then he is definitely not shy. Perhaps he is testing the water? There exists a curious double standard (as old as time!) whereby males will "judge" a female by what kind of talk/jokes she will tolerate. If you laugh along wholeheartedly at a filthy joke, they (stupidly!) will make a judgement about your character. If you make it clear you will not listen to such talk, (again stupidly!) they will make a judgement. They will rate their likelihood (again stupidly!) of getting what they want from you according to your reactions.
This idiocy has been the bane of womens' lives for millennia.
The guy you want to go out with is the one who approaches you as an equal, treats you with respect and behaves like an adult.
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