A
female
age
,
*anmattim
writes:We had a party last night and my boyfriend thinks this one friend is hot. She tends bar at a club we go to. He gets drunk and always talks about how hot she is to me and last night with my friends at the party told her she was the love of his life and it was all about her all night. She left b/c it was making her uncomfortable. She has no interest in him. He is 67 and I am 59. We do love each other and he is very sweet. This is our only problem. I felt humiliated and hurt by his actions around my friends. What to do?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 April 2013):
 I bet you felt humiliated...who wouldn't faced with that situation.
Men can be weird at times and we, as women are expected to forgive and forget the dumb stuff they do.
If we do the dumb stuff, they are furious and punish us, but we are rarely allowed to do it back.
You love this man, you know him better than anyone else and only you know if this thing he has over the other women is just drunken male bravado or intentional lust!!
If he is a sweet man and good and loving towards you, then pick your moment to explain to him that he humiliated you and he needs to understand that it must not happen again.
Most relationships arn't perfect, but some things cross the line and cause deep pain and upset. If he keeps crossing the line he must understand there are consequences to his actions and that he could find himself abandoned in his old age!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): Did he at least say he was sorry? I agree with the other response, this isn't how you treat someone you love.
He is telling another woman she is the love of his life...and she was uncomfortable & left, if I were you I would of left with her. That is unacceptable behavior drunk or not.
Let him know you didn't appreciate it & won't put up with it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): You could ask him to apologize in front of this woman. He humiliated you in front of her. So he should apologize in front of her too.
They say you cant teach an old dog new tricks but if you love him, you could try. Explain that he cant hold his drink and when he becomes drunk, he is an embarrassing bore. And in future as soon as he starts getting stupid drunk, you are removing yourself from his presence! Show him that if he keeps getting drunk, you will not stick around. And start telling him who you find hot! Maybe if he gets that sort of treatment too, he might finally start to grow up and become considerate! It is worth a try if you love him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013):
Listen, there a difference between loving someone, being comfortable with them, depending on them, and being in love... Certainly when we love someone as you say he does you ? Then we don't go around declaring our love to other people, we don't talk to our spouses regarding how hot their friends are .. This to me is not love.. Sorry ..
I would and I know this is hard .. I would pick up my dignity where he's tramp on it at the front door and I'd beat it.. He is using you.. And devaluing disrespecting you, the relationship ... Walk away .. Gain some pride.. Do not let this man treat you as a fool any longer ...
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