A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for about eleven years and we seen each other for the first five. He was my first love and I have never been able to get over him a hundred percent. I have moved on and found someone else and I love him very much, we are getting married next year. But I keep going back to being friends with the other guy, thinking that I can make frindship work. But everytime I do all those feelings come back. And each time the pain that follows gets worse. I don't know wny I can't stay away from him, and he can't stay away from me. We will stop talking for about a year or two, but then life always throws us back together and everytime friendship never seems to be enough for either one of us. I have never let it get to the next level due to the fact that I am faithful to my fiancee. But in that same fact it seems so natual for me and the other guy to be together its crazy. Everyone says we have this natural way about us. But I don't want to be that way with him anymore so I stopped talking to him again. And I feel like a heartbroken teenager all over again. And like I said everytime the pain gets worse. I just want to know when does the hurting stop cause it's been eleven years.
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female
reader, xXxSTARxXx  +, writes (28 January 2008):
What was the reason for you 2 to break up in the 1st place?
Who do you really want to be with, who could you not live without?
Do you see a future with ur first love, if you two both know that gettin married would not work then i think you should just accpet the fact that you loved him and always will but you love some1 new now and its time to move on. The truth is that you will always have feelings for him as he is your first love but it does not mean you will not love some1 new.
Try to sort out your feelings and think about it long and hard.
It seems like your ex is going to pop in and out of your life, after you sort yor feelings out. Tell him exactly what you feel, whther that be you loved him but you are happy now with your fiance or that you want to be with him. If you want to stay with your fiance, he would accept it and leave you be if he really loved you and want the best for you.
Hope this helpd.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, IntoxicatingLastBreath +, writes (22 January 2008):
 What the hell? He knows your taken right :S?
And it's kinda obvious that you'd act weird if it was a suprise
Seriously you need to speak to your friend, get him to back off you..otherwise you may end up doing something with him which you regret, then you'd ruin your friendship with him, and your relationship with your fiancee and you really don't want that.
~Krissy [x]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes the guy is together and has a rather good job, infact he works with my dad. And yes I truly do love me finacee. Everytime I think about not being with him it makes me sick. And as for the other guy, he told me not to long ago that he loved me and always had, but when I acted weird about it, he took it back. Like he wasn't going to be rejected by me. I didn't mean to act weird, it just took me by surprise. And with each passing day that we talk, he comes on stronger to me. HELP
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A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (20 January 2008):
so you really love the guy your with? Sounds like you do. You still have time to back away though. If this guy keeps popping in and out there might be a reason. Hell my boyfriend says you make your own destiny, not sure i agree. Is this other guy together or is he a loser? gotta good job? I dont think you should get married to someone if your thinking about someone else to the piont that your upset bottom line.
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A
female
reader, robynnex +, writes (17 January 2008):
 to be honest. it sounds like you two are meant to be together. i know you probobally love your fiance but would you reallly be happy with him . if it was me i wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life thinking what if ?. Cutting him out your life is what is making the pain worse because evrytime you two start talking again you get closer every time and stop talking which breaks your hearts all over again . You know he feels the same way so if i was you i would end with your current partner before he ends up heart broken aswell.
All i can say is follow your heart.
good luck
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A
female
reader, IntoxicatingLastBreath +, writes (17 January 2008):
I'm sorry to say but the hurting won't really stop until you face up to things.
As you said you don't want to be with him anymore, right?
If i were you i would have a seriously talk with him to tell him what's going on with you, your feelings..and what's it's doing to you.
Make him understand that your happy in your other relationship and don't want that ruined..that it's hurting you lots.
The pain will heal in time but will never be erased really..it's always going to be at the back of your mind
Like when you try and hide a scar with a bandage..but you know it's still there.
Just try to talk it through with your ex the best you can
Feel free to contact me at any time
And good luck
~Krissy [x]
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