A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When does a man know when he's found 'the one'? What makes him so sure? Why do guys sometime wait years upon years to propose and others after only a few months? I'm waiting for my boyfriend to finish up school (about another 2 years) and though we have talked about marriage, kids, and our future it's hard to wait when you know that person is 'it.' Reply to this Question
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male
reader, corbandallas  +, writes (9 November 2010):
I can't honestly say I know when it is that you know you've found the one, but my stepfather told me something once that always stuck with me:
"When you were a kid was there a cool sports car you've always wanted? Then one day years down the road you turn around the corner and there it is, the car of your dreams. To me your mother is that sports car."
I always liked that. My Stepfather had only known my mother for 3 months before he proposed to her, and the have been very happily married for four years now. So I guess sometimes you just know.
I don't know if that helps, but I thought I would share that with ya. I wish you all the best ;)
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 It depends on the man. Some people enjoy living in the moment and they see no reason to rush into things until they know that it is what they want. Others fear that since they only live this one precious life, they should have as much as possible and commit to the next woman they date. I think those are the ones that are more likely to cheat when they find that though they only live this once, they live a long time.
What makes anyone so sure that they have found 'the one' and what makes you think that there is 'the one'? There are plenty of people you will find that you are compatible with but when speaking of commitment it all depends on how powerfully you feel about someone. If he loves you with all his heart, without a doubt then you are his one. He might wish to take his time to just ensure that you two will live a long and happy life together until you are ready to form a stronger bond through marriage. And why not? I think you should take your time.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): The timing of a marriage proposal has nothing to do with whether a person is the one or not and more down to practicality for us guys. There are millions of different reasons a guy would propose sooner or later, only your boyfriend can tell you his.
I believe my girlfriend to be the one but have no intention of proposing anytime soon because we're enjoying our lives the way they are, no need to spend a few thousand on an expensive ceremony and "settle down" and start having kids etc. Because as soon as those rings are on the fingers then all that "have to buy a house, start a family" crap starts flowing out of peoples mouths.
We've discussed it but we want to secure our futures first, go places in our careers, do some more traveling and stuff. We want to spend our money on enjoying our youth, not wasting money on a wedding when we're already committed to each other and we can better spend it living in Vietnam for a few months.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 November 2010):
 I'm pretty convinced that for most guys, it's a matter of the right time. Whoever we're with when we're ready, whenever that is, that's who we end up with. Not a smart call, but I'm willing to bet it's the most common.
Some guys, like me, simply do not intend to get married under current law. We endorse long-term, even lifelong relationships and kids, just not the legal system. If he's talked about marriage and the future, he's probably not one of those, but would do well to research the issue.
For the rest of the guys out there, it's a matter of meeting a keeper. Cute, smart, funny girl with a feminine personality and a compatible sex drive who isn't likely to cheat on us, with a family that isn't completely insane. The question is not, "Do you think you meet that criteria?" The question is, "Does he believe you meet that criteria, and if not, how can you change to meet it?"
If he's in the third category, and he believes you're a keeper, then he believes you're the one. After that, he's just going to wait until he has the financial security to provide for you - that is, finishes school and gets a good job - before he proposes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Why does the guy have to be the one to propose? If you know he's the one, why not surprise him by presenting him with a ring? My best friend did that with her husband and it worked out beautifully. :)
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