| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I recently split up with my boyfriend of 4 years because things hadnt been working out for me for a while and I'de actually met someone else. It came as a complete shock to him though and he was absolutely devestated and heart broken. I didn't tell him about the other guy when I split up with him as I didn't want to hurt him even more. However, its been a couple of weeks since the split and I believe he still has hopes for us / is waiting for me to 'realise my mistake' even though I have told him that I do not want to get back together. When we broke up he asked a few times if there was someone else and I said no, because I could not bring myself to tell him. He said he would want to know if there was. We aren't really in contact now although he has called a few times trying to get me back.My question is....whether, and when, I should tell him about my new guy (its already pretty serious between us). Will it help him move on at this point, or just devestate him further? Do I need to tell him at all, or just let him find out through someone else? I still care about him and don't want to hurt him, I just want him to get over me and move on with his life, which I know he isn't doing at the moment....What do I do?
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female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 i was in the EXACT situation as you its almost mind boggling how exact it is.. i dragged it on and i didn't tell him for like 6 months i was serious with my current boyfriend (he still had hopes for us) and he was devistated when he just found out on his own... so i believe it would be easier if you told him before he found out and gets hurt worse!
just say you have been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious
A
female
reader, M!  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 when he asks you to hang out/get back together/talk about your realtionship, thats when you tell him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): to be fair on him, you should ring him and tell him as soon as possible. he may get extremly upset or angry as it is soo soon. just try and understand. its obvious he still loves and cares for u. i think he might stillw ant contact with you. maybe stay friends with him through phone and stuff and tell him he can call u as a mate and stuff. but if he wants cut off allow him that. 4 years is a long time and a lot of memories. and just because you may be over them- he might not be. so take it easy.
yep st8 away i say. it will hurt more for him to hear it off someone else.
god bless
friend x
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