A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi!I would really appreciate your perspective on this. I was with my boyfriend for two and a half years, we lived together for one and a half. Broke up in October 2007 after which I found out that the whole first year he lied and cheated on me many times. I still do like him, I loved him alot and naturally still care. We talk quite often- at least once a day. We met today for lunch- he asked to meet. Even though I am fine with it, when we do meet, he doesn't smile, always looks preoccupied- like he would rather be somewhere else, doing something else. Conversation is usually very limited. I don't understand why he wants to meet for coffee or tea when he has nothing to say. We live in different cities and each have to travel one and a half hours by train each way to meet midpoint. What is the point? What is this man thinking? I really don't understand this guy!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Well, our break up was initiated by me- cause he couldn't be bothered to ever visit me. N he was always fine with it. Maybe he's just trying to be friends? Like today, he got me one of my favourite snacks not available in my city. A couple of weeks ago he sent me something I liked via courier. I don't understand why he's doing this! It's crazy. I don't know. Do you think he still feels guilty or feels like he owes me something?
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Who broke up with whom?
People are strange creatures after we break up with someone we tend to forget exactly why it happened. You rememeber the good times and wonder why you can't go back to those times.
He is probably thinking that and so do you but when he actually meets you... well there is a reason you two split up isn't there.
Just end it. The relationship is OVER. Imagine his point of view. Why do you agree to meet him, what is the point, what is this woman thinking.
Yeah some couples can stay friends after a break-up. They are rare. You breakup, you cry your heart out and you move on. So get moving.
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A
female
reader, lalybug2008  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Sounds to me like he's just keeping tabs on you. Wanting to see if you'll agree to meet with him. Because even though your broken up doesn't mean he's letting you go. It's his way of playing with you. I could be completely wrong due to the fact that I don't know either one of you and your post is short. But it does appear to be his way of feeling out the situation with you. If you're eager to meet with him and what your attitude is like when you two are together. Next time, tell him you're busy having lunch with friends or just plain old busy. Having a lunch date should be enjoyable to both parties - not one that makes you feel like you're wasting his time.
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