A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When a girl gets hurt in a relatonship, does she tell anybody (even her ex)?
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male
reader, markanthonyv0  +, writes (6 April 2007):
Think about it this way, would it help if you knew that someone else had previously gone through that pain? Would it help if someone provided you with an example of how they got over it? I'll leave you with this, we can't know about other people's experiences unless we communicate(for example, talk)
A
female
reader, SusieQ1970 +, writes (5 April 2007):
All the previous advice is very sound and good. However, I would try and refrain from speaking to friends and family. You should always try and sort out your problems together without involving anyone else wherever possible. The problem with involving 'outsiders' is that they will tend to agree and support the hurt party.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
It depends on the girl, but hopefully she'd talk to her partner about it first. If he is unwilling to discuss it with her, then naturally she'd want to talk to someone else - not only to vent, but also to maybe get some advice or feel support of some kind. You can't keep emotions bottled up like that, and a relationship can't progress without any sort of communication.
If you are in a relationship and you think your girlfriend has been talking to other people about the problems between the both of you, talk to her. It sounds as though you two need to work on communication. Even if you don't like what she wants to say (or vice versa), you shouldn't get angry or upset with someone because of their feelings. As upsetting as it might sound to hear she thinks there are problems in the relationship, they'll only be resolved if you two have open, honest communication with one another. And I suggest trying not to get upset with her for talking to someone else - ask why and find out why she felt the need to talk to someone other than you. Get to the root of that problem as well as what is actually bothering her about the relationship.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (5 April 2007):
 She might tell her ex if she and he were good friends.
Sometimes when I get hurt I might tell a close friend, but the really painful stuff I would keep to myself.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (5 April 2007):
 I guess it all depends on the indidual really. Some people like to keep it to themselves, while some like to tell people. Talking to people can be very theraputic, and can even help the individual get over their problems quicker.
good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): Yes, you should always tell the person that hurt you. Do it in a calm, rational way but don't under any circumstances pull the punches, tell them exactly how they made you feel without resorting to insult, exaggeration or excitement.
I know it may sound hard, but it's the only way for the person that hurt you to grow and more importantly the best way for you to deal with your pain.
If you think you have a hard time telling the person how they made you feel or worry that you might break down or get upset try writing it into a letter before you confront them. When I got hurt recently I didn't want to confront her for a few days. Eventually I was going out of my mind so I sat down and wrote her a letter without any intention of sending it. After writing it I felt miles better and eventually, when I confronted her about what she'd done and she confessed I did read her the letter.
Try getting your feelings down on paper, it really does help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): She might tell her friends and family but not her ex.
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