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female
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anonymous
writes: hi therei dont know what is up with meim young and attractive but i have a problem with menIf a guy likes me alot and is 'over keen' then i dont like them usually...but when they go off me i want them backI get very very very attached, almost obsessive. When i like someone, who i have usually had, but driven away, i am obsessive.But i drive guys away!! i make myself believe that they dont like me and finish with them, when they havnt even done anything wrong. I make excxcuses and make myself believe that they fancy other ppl etc...then, when they have gone, i want them back!!!!its so stupid. I knw that i am attractive so whats the problem??i seem to have a serious psycholgical problem!!!!!please help me ppl cos im neva gonna b able 2 have a good relationship.Iv tried going out with good looking ppl but i beliebe they are gonna cheat or dnt actually like me...but if i go out with someone who isnt good looking i think i can do better!!heeeeeelppppppppppp!!xxxxxxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): My opinion is that for many many many people the chase is exciting and when someone is easy to get you just lose that passion for them....You just need to take a breath and use your head a bit more to decide about all the qualities you are looking for in a man that would make you happy, and sort of weed them out that way,
You will meet that special someone that you have an emotional connection with, and intellectual connection and a spiritual one finally, real love takes time, and you need to give your partner time to come to know you and know how to love you and vice versa.
I don't think it is because you are spoiled or not grown up, just possibly undecided as to what you are looking for in a person to be your mate....
If someone takes care of your emotional needs by being your friend and giving you attention, you unconciously become dependent on them psychologically, and that obsessive feeling you get is part of that dependency, it usually means you really like that person, and perhaps you are giving up too early on the one you really like, it is not all about their leaving, but is about making you work at the relationship....so just relax and hang in there.
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 November 2006):
My! my! you're a bundle of insecurity and baby girl charm. The reason why you get pouty with the guys you dont want is because they are making the effort and chasing you. Somewhere along the line, you were spoiled rotten by your parents and were told "You are the best things that ever came on this earth and no one will ever be god enough for you." So, when you get into a relationship, its exciting to shake it up by making excuses, seeing the guy crumple when you say hurtful things and then watching them beg when u dump them. On the other hand rejection is exciting and when a guy turns you down, you quite enjoy asking your friends the usual questions like "Am I so awful?" "Why isnt he into me?" "I'lldo anything to get him into my life." But once you have them you toss them aside like a toddler tossing a toy away.
When you grow up you will one day meet your life partner and will forget all the games and will focus on making him happy. When he is pleased and happy you will feel a glow of happiness too. believe me, it wont matter if he looks like Quasimodo beause the love you will share will make you forget about looks/shape/size or bank balance. Your time is yet to come.
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