A
female
age
26-29,
*onfusedgirl14
writes:I'm 14 and my boyfriends 16 soon, he wants to have sex but I'm not sure I do, he's not a virgin but I am! He always gets drunk and high, it dosent bother me usually but recently he feels me up and sticks his hands down my pants and top in front of his friends! I'm not sure why he's started doing this any ideas? His dad recently died and that's why he gets high and the other day he got a tattoo of his dads name and some hands and when we was lying in bed (nothing happened) I lay on his arm on accident and he went to hit me help me what's wrong with him?
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (29 August 2011):
 what's wrong with him? plenty! gets drunk, gets high, wants to encourage you to have underage sex, humiliates you in front of his friends and now nearly lashed out at you just for laying on his arm. my question is what is wrong with YOU that makes you stay with him?? he is bad news and i hope you can see that and leave him. lots of boys are idiots its true but that doesn't they all are. while you are involved with this one though you will miss out on the opportunity to meet a good one
x
A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Don't stay in a relationship with someone who is threatening and forceful. There are lots of guys out there who will be willing to let you discover yourself in your own time and many who would certainly not go to hit another women. Time to think about yourself and get out of this relationship
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 all i have to say is get out,the rest was said perectly by other members
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 I'm sorry, he needs therapy to deal with his grief and YOU need to dump him. You also need to learn and understand that YOU are in charge of how people treat you. Don't let people treat you in a way you don't want. Don't let someone touch you in a way you do not want to be touched.
You are not ready for sex, and that is OK! You are also NOT qualified to help him deal with his grief. You can not CURE/FIX him with sex or by loving him.
He needs help. Serious help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): Stay out of contact with this guy completely
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Your 'boyfriend' is going through a very traumatic time right now. No one should ever lose their parent at such a young age. He needs help and not just a shoulder to cry on. He's turned to drink and drugs and seemingly sex and violence to ease his pain. He needs counciling, therapy and guidance.You are 14, you are in no position to give him any of this. If you stick around the only thing you are giving to him is his own toy to grope and beat up whenever he so wishes. He clearly has no respect for you and you deserve a million times more than that darling. Get out of it now before things get serious and he becomes controlling and you can't leave. We can't tell you what to do with your life, but the fact that you had to come and ask for help shows you know things aren't right. You're too young to try and make them right, there are plenty more boys out there that will treat you properly. Ask yourself this: Do you deserve to be taken advantage of and abused or do you deserve to be treated with respect?Good luck hunny. I hope everything is ok. xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 August 2011):
Went to hit you?
What's wrong with your boyfriend is that he has some major issues that you need to let him deal with - from far away. This guy has drugs in him, which will only make his anger worse. He's also touching you inappropriately (you're a minor, so he's breaking the law). And the final straw was when he went to hit you. That's absolutely unacceptable, and he has NO excuse for it. No caring guy goes to hit his girlfriend, no matter what's happening in his life.
You're now at a stage where you have to make a mature decision for your own safety. You're on the verge of becoming a batter abuse victim, and what you do next could define your character for a long time. Either you find the strength to leave him (please!) so that he can deal with his problems whilst you move forward. Or you don't leave, in which case you'll be setting yourself up for a life of abuse.
What you are seeing are major warnings, and if you don't listen now, soon he will hit you and there's a chance you might not get up. He's unsafe to be around, he's becoming an abuser and you need to get away from him.
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A
female
reader, bijou +, writes (25 August 2011):
you are still too young and i think u should stand your grounds and don't get and there's no reason to have sex yet,besides this guy is not good 4 u. he will break u instead of making u and u don't want that. leave him now before the situation gets worse.this guy is obsessed and he might end up raping u someday.
please get the courage to leave him.there is no remedy 4 this. goddluck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): Listen to chigirl.... and get a better boyfriend.... one who's attained at least a tiny bit of maturity...
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 First off: he's touching you inappropriately in front of people because he doesn't respect you. In other words he sees you as his toy and not as a person that should be respected. He gets high and drinks at such a young age, that tells me he's a person who doesn't think too much about consequences. Which means he's likely to get you pregnant on "accident" because he's careless.
He hit you? I don't know if I understand what you mean, but if he hit you that is called abused and you should leave him right away.
Also, if you aren't ready for sex you need to tell him this and speak up! Don't just sit there and let him take advantage of you, he's supposed to respect you, not do whatever he wants with you! If he puts his hands down your pants or up your shirt again tell him not to. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's allowed to grab at you whenever he pleases or wherever he pleases. He needs to ask permission. If he can not respect you then you shouldn't be with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011):
Run away from this jerk!
No respect, abusive, violent...do you need any more reasons? The world is full of other boys who will treat you well. Why stick to this one?
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