A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been having sex with my boyfriend for a while now but its becomming increasingly difficult for me.The problem is honestly that his penis is really big. The most comfortable position for us to have sex is him on top and whilst thats enjoyable afterwards i feel quite sore. When im on top its okay but once we get into it, it feels too deep and hurts. We mistakenly tried from behind and that hurt like hell. When i give him head i can barely fit any of his penis in my mouth and i honestly feel like a bit of a failure in bed. I feel like he can't enjoy himself properly due to fear of hurting me, and i can't have sex in the positions i like because it just hurts too much.Another issue is after sex he can just have sex again and again. There isnt really a time when he has to 'recover'. I would LOVE this, except i cant have sex once without being sore afterwards, I've gone along with it a couple of times and even though i enjoy having sex it just kills after.I've never had a sexual partner like this and im just confused about what i can do to improve the situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Things will improve with time, because your vagina will get used to his size. You need to use loads of lube, and you just have to accept that there will be certain positions you can't use, and that you can't go on and on and on. You need to stop when it starts to hurt or else you can damage yourself and then it can take weeks to recover!
However, just because you can't do everything you could with other men doesn't mean sex will always be lacking something. Sex is something between two people, a feeling, a connection, and that can't be taken away, and that importance wont ever go away. You and your boyfriend can have great sex, be intimate, be close to each other, and satisfy each other. You just have to do it in a different way than what you are used to from other guys.
There will be certain things you and your boyfriend can do that you couldn't do with others. In time you will discover these things. Such as new positions. Different forms of stimulation. Discovering how to give him a blowjob unlike any you've given before. For example may I suggest you don't put pressure on trying to take him in your mouth... using your tongue and hands on him will give him great pleasure. Have you discovered his balls yet, and the different forms of pleasure you can bring him by kissing them, touching them, sucking on them? And of course there is his ass, and the skin between balls and ass. Those are erogenous zones on a man.
You can rub his penis between your breasts, or butt cheeks. You can lay next to each other, face to face, and have him rub between your thighs. That is very stimulating for a man, especially if you are wet (trust me on this one, my ex nearly came every time we were rubbing like this, it gave him more stimulation than being inside of me even).
You'll find new things to do together. And don't forget he can still go down on you, there are positions you can use for intercourse too, but you should use more time on other forms of sensual stimulation, that feels good for the both of you, other than intercourse.
Look up in the Kama Sutra for inspiration, they have several positions that are sensual, sexual, stimulating, relaxing and intimate, that aren't about his penis being inside of you. Often holding him between your thighs or butt cheeks can feel just as great for a man.
You could try anal too... the anus can extend quite a bit, but of course, that one is up to you, it could be better, it could be worse.
You just need to remember that sex isn't about pleasuring the man! Sex is about giving each other pleasure, and sharing something special and intimate. You can do that with any size and form. Just think outside of the box and don't get hung up on what you USED to do. You and your boyfriend need to find out what works for the two of you, which will be different from what you did with exes. Remember it's not about the act itself, it's not about pure sex. It's about the two of you being intimate.
A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (25 August 2011):
 Ok...urmmm I rattled my brain for a while and came up with a few possible solutions.1) You didn't really bring this point up - but are you using enough foreplay? Make sure you do plenty this'll help you relax more meaning you're not so tight. 2) Depending on both of your personal preferences with this kinda thing (I know men especially aren't into this) but have you tried bringing toys to the bedroom? If you were to use a vibrator/dildo during foreplay this may help as a kind of middle step before the big jump if you like. But again that isn't for everyone.3) Using lube. I know the problem isn't penetration but some lubes help numb slightly which may help with the after pain.I would assume that the more you had sex you both had the easier it would be, but if you say it's becoming increasingly difficult then maybe you need to slow it down a little. Maybe do it less often until you are more ready.Hope this helped just a little. Good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, james088  +, writes (25 August 2011):
i can really understand your problem. I too have a large penis and my girlfriend constantly struggles with my size. It was much worse in the beginning of the relationship but the more we had sex the more she got use to it. Like your boyfriend i too want to have more sex after sex but cant as my girlfriends vagina is very sore. Iv found that using lube does help my girlfriend as well as alot of foreplay before we have sex. My advice is if you are sore after sex and your boyfriend is still horny, provided you do want to please him, give him hand or head. He just wants to get off, whether its with sex or with something else.Hope this helps....
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