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Whats wrong with me, why do I still love my ex after everything that he did to me?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *mmaxbaby writes:

Me and my ex broke up about a month and half ago.

I still hurt and miss him, i cry alot, and im trying to meet other guys but i find it hard.

My ex raised his hand at me on one ocassion, he said he didnt mean and it was sorry. I forgave him!

He was controlling and stoped me from doing silly things like changing my hair colour.

He was selfish in bed and never botherd to do anything to me, he only wanted pleasure him self.

But above all that i loved him, got on well with his family and spent so much time with them, i gave him everything he ever wanted, i miss him so much!

I know he doesnt want me but i still love him!

Whats wrong me, why do i still love him after everything that he did to me?

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A female reader, the sweetest sin United States +, writes (11 June 2008):

i know exacly how you feel. actually i just got out of one. and for me, the reason i cant get over him is because for some reason i have it in my head that one day we'll get back together, even after alll the stuff hes done to me i will still love him. its hard, i know. but u have to do whats best for yourself. if it helps, thinks bad things like all the things hes done to you, try to make yourself angry with him in your head,so its easier to forget about him. and when the times right, things will fall into place and you"ll meet that special somebody. just dont give up hope in yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008):

Always remember love is not like a switch that you can decide to switch on and off; it is dealing with emotions.

The sooner you start dealing with your emotions and working through them, the easier it gets.

In the meanwhile, don't spend to much time pondering on questions; start going out with friends and find things to keep your self occupied.

However, allow yourself time to resolve your emotions; by doing that you will discover interesting aspects of yourself!

Best wishes!

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (10 June 2008):

Fiona xxx agony auntHi

I am sorry to hear about your bad times.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself more time to get over things.

I am sure you feel like this because the relationship wasn't all bad. I think it is always hard when you get on with his family or friends, or he gets on with yours. It makes things complicated.

You paint a picture of a bad situation, of which many people would wonder what you saw in him. Although I bet it isn't as simple as that, and you did no doubt share fun times.

Don't forget, better times are ahead, and try and put this all behind you. Take care.

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A female reader, Minelisse Puerto Rico +, writes (10 June 2008):

Minelisse agony auntGetting over someone takes more time hun. For some people even years. When we share so much of ourself with someone it is very normal to continue to have feelings for this person. However, by what you say, this is the best decision for both of you and that's the important thing, that you remember that!

Try to make yourself busy, join a class, take up a hobby. Don't try to move on just yet, let yourself heal and learn from this experience. Wait until you feel ready to move on.

Best of lucks!

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