A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello. there is this guy at work who hangs on a lot of women. He is married, sometimes they are too. I recon he may be the touchy feely type, but it bothers me in general... I just think its inappropriate workplace behavior, yet others participate in the same way. Hugs, rubs, sex jokey comments and what not. I guess I'm not used to such an environment. I've noticed the women get like attatched to this guy, one girl was kina hurt by him, cuz he says he never meant for her to have feelings for him, I dunno, does this married guy need attention or what. I am just trying to understand what guys like this who flirt and hang on thier co workers, then seemingly move on to other women to get 'closer' to them are all about-when they are married and say they will never leave their wife?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Nope, this is not a case of sexual harassment because the poster isn't the target of it all. She is saying that he does that to all the other ladies in the office and they go along with it.
I don't know the policies in the US, but, can you really claim sexual harassment against you if someone else is the target of the not-so-unwanted attention? How can the workplace be "hostile" only because other people are flirting with each other? Just asking. I think that making a claim that ends up badly is worse than not making that claim at all. Say the poster goes along with the claim and she loses. I think a pretty hostile environment would be created after that.
If the poster told the other people "Hey, I find it so bad that you do that to each other", what would "each other" say about it? "Mind your business".
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): More often than not it's the case but there are those rare instances where the cheater will leave. I always said I'd never getting involved with a married person but somehow it happened. I wasn't the instigator. I even went so far as driving to the person's home to turn the person into their spouse but had a change of heart for the sake of the person's children. I'm uncomfortable with the relationship due to the way it came about. In a nutshell, we met at a job fair and when I walked up to the table for a particular company the person anxiously jumped from the chair and rushed toward me smiling and extending a shake while greeting me by my name. How did the person know all about me? The person is pressuring me for exclusivity to leave their marriage. We recently started working for the same company. I fighting with morality between what I want and what's not right. The person keeps assuring me it's not my presence that's cause for ending the marriage.
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A
female
reader, OliviaAna +, writes (21 December 2010):
 He just wants attention. Probably thinks he's some kind of Casanova. I'd advise him to keep his hands to himself if he approaches you. You don't even owe this cod an explanation of why.
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A
male
reader, WilliamJConn +, writes (21 December 2010):
Sexual harrassment.
If you think it's uncomfortable, then bring it up to your HR department - or whoever handles those types of claims - and they'll set him straight. You don't have to be the subject of his acts in order to claim sexual harrassment and because his actions create what's called a hostile work environment for you - simply meaning you don't like coming to work because he's there doing what he's doing - then you have the same amount of right to file it as the women he's hitting on.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 December 2010):
It's called "fishing expedition". Sometimes a willing fish will bite.
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