A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I suppose it's a little late to ask this question since I'm already sleeping with the guy, but hey. Better late than never. I met him at a show about a month ago and we found each other physically attractive. He lives about three hours away from me and neither of us is looking to get into a relationship (I know I'm not, at least). I may be moving out of state for work in the near future, with no choice in the matter, so I'd be pretty stupid to seek out a true "relationship" at this point. Bottom line, I wouldn't normally be interested in an FWB situation, but I've been single for a while and, to be blunt, have missed getting laid. He's good at it. Game on ;)My point with the above is that I don't make a habit out of casual sex and have never been in this situation before... so I really don't know what's expected. I'm fine with showing up at his place late, getting it on, and then leaving. That was how it went the first few times.Lately, though, it seems like there's a little more to it than just sex. We watch movies beforehand, cuddle afterward (initiated by him! I swear!) and sometimes go to breakfast together the next day. He's talked about wanting to play video games with me and suggested places for us to go if I'm ever in his area during the daytime. I guess my question is whether or not this sort of behavior is usual. Everything I've read about it online seems to stress that FWB arrangements should be about sex only... but his actions aren't all that different from the guys I have actually "dated." Is this normal? If not, what is?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): Thanks for the answers ladies and gentlemen. LonelyTwo, I'm the original poster, and to answer your question it wasn't anything he said that really led up to this. Nothing on earth would convince me to "settle" for an FWB situation with someone if my situation with work wasn't what it was. However, at this point I don't think it's fair either to myself or any potential partners to enter into anything that could get one or both of us hurt if (more likely when) I move out of state...which pretty much rules out anything committed. So when this guy flirted with me the fact that he was reasonably physically attractive to me was really all it took.
I don't normally choose partners based on looks but I'm purposely NOT looking to click with this guy on any level other than a sexual one, so I had to change my M.O. Yes, I'm using him for sex, but I guarantee he enjoys it ;)... and I'm sure he probably thinks he's using me! LOL. Just wanted to clear up what sort of behavior I should expect on his part. Thanks again for the answers :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I'm in a similar situation as you. We go out to dinner together, go on camping trips and day trips to wineries and have even met each other's parents (though they understand we're not properly together). We've been going on for over a year like this and it's fine - I think as long as you periodically check with each other that you're happy with how things are and aren't looking for a relationship now, then there's not problem!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 February 2010):
Some guys like to have a fwb that they can also do a few things with as well. Not all, but some do. This guy just sounds like he likes your company for a while. If you're happy with it, then go for it. But be aware that should you fall for him more, he may not want to take it further.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (23 February 2010):
 If you were friends before you started sleeping together I wouldn't find this too odd but seeing as you weren't I think he's probably a lot more into you than you are him. I have a problem with the whole FWB thing-I'm not against it, it's actually how my partner and I ended up together lol-but of course it's always going to be a problem if one of you starts to get serious feelings and the other is happy with the arrangement as it is. I think the best thing to do is talk to him, get it out in the open. If you can't have that kind of chat with him, mention again about your maybe moving away and watch his reaction, drop a few hints about being happy single etc. You'll either know by his response or he'll speak up and tell you...hopefully!
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