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female
age
30-35,
*J
writes:what are the definate signs that you love someone. and what are the signs that you are in love with someone, i ask b/c i dont know if i simply love him or if i am in love with him and i dont want to hurt him. Reply to this Question
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reader, artian  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Love and it ambiguity.love is when you are passionate about someone and you can feel the passion coming back.Love is when You like someone very much on a mental level and can understand and feel that adoration being returned but without favor. Love is when you cannot help be commited to someone because you have a deep will to assist them in their needs and this flows freely between both parties.Love is an unselfishly selfish act. To better yourself for the care of yourself and another. Love cannot be singular and only 'you'. If that is the case its is my opinion that that is just 'feeling love' and probably infatuation. Love goes beyond social expectations and cultural desires and has no place in this world of money, power, status, etc, It is a real true heartfelt bunch of emotions that are not a simple dopamine effect attached to a sexual fantasy or a nice house etc. eg. If I met a very good looking woman who was wealthy and she showed that she really wanted to be with me I would probably be infatuated and love the set of circumstances etc but would not mean I love her even if she was a very nice person. Love is when your afraid your never going to see that person again but will willing accept that out of understanding if they chose to do that for their needs.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): The fact that you're questioning if you're in love with him is a pretty good indication that you love him but you're not in love.
I disagree with some of the posts above, being in love with someone isn't just about you, and its not about them being the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep at night, you'll probably still do these things if you are in love, but just because you do doesn't mean you are in love with them.
In my opinion, being in love isn't a one-way thing, the fact that its called being in love WITH someone shows that.
If you're in love with someone you really have to have been with them for a long time, know them and i mean properly know them, be comfortable around them, want the best for them, know what makes them happy.
You'll know if you're in love, it won't be a question, you'll just know, I used to think that it was ridiculous when people say 'If you love someone you'll just know' but you will.
I haven't ever been in love myself, but I would imagine that you would just...know.
I hope that helped (:
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): love at first sight isnt true but only lust is.
love is when you think about them, but you can still pick going out with your friends over them.
your happy to see them, but you can be happy without them.you can tell them you love them on a txt on the phone and when your drunk.
inlove is when they are the first person you think about in the morning and the last thing you think of at night and you still think about them all through the day. youd pick to be wth them over any one.. by any means that isnt a good thing ecause if all comes to an end you could pf lost your friends to.
you can tell them your inlove with them soba and looking them straight in the eyes without feeling embarrased and it just rolls off your tongue because you want to tell them so they no you mean it. they make you laugh, you cant get mad without wanting to smile and just one touch from them makes everything seems alright even when your world is probably faling upside down.
when you kiss you feel like hes opened your heart and your in a whole new world where the only two people exist is you. sometimes most of the time you dont realise just how much you love this person until you have lost them.
but you will risk everything to get them back becsuse if you dont risk it all your risking losing the one person your inlove with and that is gonna be the biggest regret of your life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): i've asked the same question myself. i think thats its a little bit of both. you dont just love him and you're not just in love with him. see. you love your mom or your friends but your not in love with them. hes somewhere inbetween.
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female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I am sorry, but I really have to disagree with quite a bit that the previous posters had to say. Love. What the previous posters described as being in love was merely describing infatuation, which is not the same thing as love at all! When we first meet someone we feel butterflies, think only good thoughts, think of them constantly, etc. This is INFATUATION, which unfortunately many people mistake for love. But this is not love -yet. Infatuation is what opens us up to the possibility of love, it is not love itself!
Love is when you care deeply about a person. You want only the best for them and even when you are angry or unhappy with them this doesnt change. You never wish them ill. Love is when you are able to put THEIR needs above your own. While infatuation might cause us to sacrafice ourselves to accomaodate another person, Love causes us to want to better ourselves for that person. If that sounded a bit cryptic, I will explain. When you are infatuated you may skip work to be with the person, you may sneak out of the house at night, you may neglect your studies or compromise your morals (sleep with someone to please them). When it is love you study HARDER, work HARDER and try to be the best person that YOU can be so that you can be better for THEM. You find that you are a better person with them than you are without them, for love cannot exist for long if it is not returned. Love is when you will haul yourself out of bed at 2:00 AM, just because they need you. Now these feelings can be for your child, your boyfriend, or even a friend.
Being IN love is taking it one step further. Being in love means that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. That you want to see them every morning and every night and you cant imagine your life without them, even with all their faults wich by this time you know very well. Being in love means that you feel that things dont have the same kind of excitement or flavor unless they are shared with your loved one. Being in love means that you thank goodness it hadnt worked out with someone else so that you can be with that person now. Some of those feelings might be there with infatuation, but until you have passed through the love phase of it, dont mistake these things for anything lasting.
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female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Loving someone ---no matter what that person does you will still care abou them and want their best and you understand them and the way they are with their goods and bads and you still care about them and want their best.
you can be upset with someone and still love them.
you will never feel indifference towards someone you love.
Being inlove--- it's abou thow YOU feel, it's not about the other person at all. It's about the tension, the butterflies in your stomach, about your fantasies being fullfilled, about feeling good , believing that all this happens because the other person did something magic to you.
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female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (25 July 2007):
 The definate signs if you are in love with him are things like: he is the one you think about last thing at night and first thing in the morning! Whenever you see him you can't help but smile. You get butterflies in your stomach and get nervous when you are with him. If you are doing something you want to get it right to impress him and not to feel like a fool. You'd like to stay together and get upset in arguments.
Signs that you just love him are things like: you want to be with him but not all the time, you think about him but it's not always good thoughts, you get bored when you are with him. You can pick up on silly habits but they annoy you and you can't ignore them.
i hope this helps :-)
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