A
female
age
36-40,
*enL
writes:First of all, please excuse me if i appeared to be ignorant with my questions because i don't have many sexual experiences as my boyfriend is my first. 1) is it normal for girls to get a tear between her private area and anus after sex? at first i didn't realize it but it hurts as i go to restroom... btw, we weren't having rough sex; he's very gentle. i don't want to tell him about it cos he might feel bad, but it happened a few times already.2) how can i know whether he's having an orgasm and that it was actually ejaculation, not precum? he tried to withdraw really quick, and he said its painful sometimes....thanks ahead for the help
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ejaculate, ejaculation, orgasm, precum, rough sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JenL +, writes (31 August 2011):
JenL is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for taking your time to answer, the anonymous female reader. I think we both had been tested for STD during annual exam & some sort. Mine was recently when i visited Planned Parenthood & the result was negative.
A
female
reader, JenL +, writes (31 August 2011):
JenL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the answers. @ Chigirl, he told me the other day that after sex, his testicles would hurt. He told his doctor about it but she said it's nothing to be worried about....And about the perineum cut that i got for a few times after sex, it always healed after several days by itself. I google online & a lot of people seem to experience the same problem...I don't think it was because I wasn't wet enough, because i was.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): If he said it it hurts it can be a STI ask him to take a test
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 The tear is not normal. Well, it's normal as a result of something happening to you (as in, it is normal to get a cut of you slice yourself with the knife), but if sex was as it should be then, no, not normal. You shouldn't be in pain! Not during and not after sex. If you experience pain then you (as in you both) are doing something wrong. Maybe going too hard, for too long, you're not wet enough, he's too big, you're very tight, he didn't clean well, you didn't clean well (so something like a little bit of fabric from clothes rubbed up against you).
You're not experienced with sex you said, so my bet is that you aren't wet enough, and that despite what you say, he's being too rough (which would have been fine if you were only wet enough). More foreplay is needed, and more lube. Buy some lube to experiment with and see how it feels. He needs to go super super slow to begin with and then go a bit faster. You could also try not going at it for longer than 20 minutes, see if that makes a difference.
2. You can't know if he came or not, only he will know that. If he says it hurts when he ejaculates then he should see a doctor.
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A
female
reader, lovedoctress  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 Pre cum is there before sex this is when ur partner is now turned on this helps as a lubricant during sex. On the other hand ejaculation is when ur boyfriend release sperm which we call cum during orgasm. precum n ejaclate is pratically the same thing.precum happen before sex n ejaculate is during sex.
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