A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this has been on my mind lately and I can't help but want someone to help me figure out. Would need a guy's opinion if possible.I have known my bf for 2 years, for a year we were good friends. Anyway, he had a gf before and he liked her a lot, he was proud of her and he even introduced her to me. I lived in another city. So anyway, we became really close and around 2 months that he was with her, he told me he felt he was falling for me. We began seeing each other and I always told him I can't have a relationship with him as he has a gf. I never asked him to leave her. He just kept on seeing me every weekend. So after another 3 months, he admitted to me that he broke up with her. I noticed it too but i never asked. Then he moved to my city and found a job. Anyways, we are a happy couple except for some things that caused fights. First was a minor fight as I found out he still had her on his messenger. He deleted her on his list right away and told me he occasionally receives message from her. So it was fine. But sometimes, he mentions her name accidentally instead of my name. Maybe about 3 times, 1 I believe during intercourse. I am not very sure though.The latest one is this, he started using his old mobile phone again which was damaged and unrepaired for 6 months and when we both scanned the phone, he has too many messages from the ex when they were still together. Though the last message was almost a year ago, and it was all about why he was not seeing her anymore and if he found someone else or how busy is he to not call her for days. I felt for the girl so I asked him to delete it. He said yes.I just checked the other day and he did not delete it at all. He asked me to open his phone so i could set his alarm for work and I just got curious.Sorry for the lengthy explanations. So my question is, i wanna know what's in my bf's head. Does he still love her? So why did he leave her for me? In fairness, I don't see any sign he is cheating on me with her. We live together. He doesn't hide things from me, gets calls only from his friends all the time, allows me to use his phone. He surprises me with gifts a lot of times, always tells me he loves me and we have sex almost daily.I am almost confident I am his only girl but these things about his ex makes me think otherwise sometimes. Just this one and I can say our relationship is perfect. I asked him in our last fight why he broke up with her and he told me it was because of me.Am I overeacting? Or should there be something that needs to be addressed? Once I find out he still loves the ex, I will give him back to her. I just don't want to be lied on. I don't like people who pretend. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): I don't think you have anything to worry about. Keeping a few pictures, letters, etc... from an ex is quite commmon. It's not much different from keeping the same from an old friend from years ago. Just a souvenir.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): Why don't you ask your boyfriend these personal questions? What makes you think that we know what's going on in his head? Have an adult conversation with your partner.
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