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female
age
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anonymous
writes: What is the difference between being honest and being negative?People told me many times.including family,and friends, ''you are being too negative'' And I just cant see, where am I going wrong. I feel, Im just seeing the truth.. What is wrong with that? It is very strange for me, that why we cant see what we want to see. How can you see positive ,when the train crashed ? I don't know, what is the positive attitude... I need help. I can be only positive, when things are positive. Is there something wrong with me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I've never been accused of being Pollyanna or Mary Sunshine but I figure if you only have negative things to say, keep your trap shut until something positive comes along.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Sometimes there is no positive. But if people go out of their way to comment that you are negative, then this is more than just one incident... it's a pattern of being negative. The odds of you surrounding yourself in so many situations have have no possibilities for positive outlooks is unlikely.
And if the anonymous female who just gave that answer is the same woman, you've proved everybody's point correct:
Are there always something positive to look at? What if there is none?
Someone who had a positive outlook on life wouldn't ask that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): Are there always something positive to look at? What if there is none?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 September 2010):
 As you said, people see what they want to see. It sounds like you're looking for the negative and downplaying or ignoring the positive. The fact that not one, but many people have pointed this out in you means you need to take on a more optimistic outlook, or at least refrain from voicing a negative opinion. Outward negativity is offputting and drives people away faster than anything.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (14 September 2010):
 If you choose to only look at the negative aspect of life than that will trigger your mood.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I don't see how a train crash can be positive, but what I believe is going on with you is you are allowing your empathy control your moods and feelings that others see you as having. There are times in all of our lives where we feel for those who are hurting or have lost loved ones, but those situations shouldn't be all that we are. Is there a lot of negativity is this world? Of course, but don't you have the right to choose if you personally allow your life to be filled with such negativity? I am a positive person, and that's how I choose my household to be, but we still take time out to pray for those who are hurting and pray for healing. It's not that we ignore the negativity, but we focus on what we have control over, not what we don't, and being positive or negative is something that we can control.
I recommend more balance. Be positive in your life. Know who you are, and stand true to how you treat others and choose for others to treat you, but keep your empathy and compassion for others, just don't allow the negative of this world control and change who you are into who you are not. Truth is always good, but is your truth that you're negative or is their so much more to you than that? Believe me, you can begin damaging your sense of self if all you focus on is others who are in pain, although it's okay to spend some time to pray or wish their families and loved ones heal and find guidance to strengthen them during difficult times.
I hope this helps you, and I'm not trying to put being positive off as easy, I'm attacked daily with negatives, and it takes work and practice to keep myself protected and maintain who I choose to be for myself and for my family.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (14 September 2010):
How you choose to look at things is unrelated to something happening or not happening. One is an event occurring, the other is your outlook on a possible event. You want to use your train crash? Fine. There are two ways you can look at a train crash, 1) How many people died? 2)How many people lived? Have you ever heard the expressions "Glass if have empty" or "Glass is half full"?. The first is describing people who have a negative outlook on life, the second is for positive people.
Generally, negative people always seem to look for the worst in things. They even expect bad things to happen. Realistically, bad things happen to everyone. That's just life. It's how we DEAL with them that makes the difference. Do you look for the positive points when something bad happens? Saying things like "Well, it could have been worse..." or "At least no one was hurt.". Or do you look at the negative? Saying things like "It doesn't matter if he survived, he doomed for a life of misery from his scarring" or "Why even bother? We all die in the end anyway.".
Having a positive outlook on life doesn't mean you are delusional. You don't think bad things are a good thing. It's just how you LOOK at things. Most realistic people fall on two sides of a coin.... they are realistic on the positive side, or realistic on the negative side. But my point in all of this is, being realistic has nothing to do with whether or not you have a positive or negative outlook on life.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 September 2010):
Did anybody survive the train crash?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010): what theyre trying to tell you, is that its depressing being around you, because all you do is moan and focus on the bad things. They are sick of your negative attitude so keep your thoughts to yourself or tell them to a therapist. you should listen to my advice or people will start avoiding you. Cheer up, do some exercise, take up a new hobby, meet new people but it seems to be at the very least youre stuck in a rut and possibly youre depressed, i really suggest counselling
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 September 2010):
 Leadership is the ability to believe in one's own infallibility while, at the same time, learning from one's own mistakes.
Speak and think poisitively, but prepare for the worst possibility and act as though the most likely one is going to happen. It makes you happier, regardless of your material success - and as far as I'm concerned, the only reason for material success is happiness anyway, so why not skip the middleman?
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