A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Im worried i have too much hair down there that when my boyfriend sees it hes going to be put off. Im quite young but im getting to that stage in my relationship, i dont care for your judgement about my age, where my boyfriend is touching me. But what if i have too much hair? This may be gross but i dont know who else to ask other than you guys, do i shave it? Do i need a specific thing to apply to it after shaving? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2016):
 Shaving can be very sore if you cut yourself, plus it is very itchy and uncomfortable when it grows back. Can you not talk to your mother about this? Or an adult friend? You could get waxed, but only professionally. Maybe you could trim your hair if you feel it is long? But please be careful.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 October 2016):
 I hope you are more concerned with forms of birth control than whether you should shave your privates or not.
If the birth control thing is sorted out, I'd suggest you start by trimming NOT shaving. If you aren't used to shaving that area you can end up with nicks and cuts and ingrown hair (which will make it look like you crotch has gotten acne).
There are hair removal cremes for the bikini area that would suit you better. Go for the natural product and one that is SAFE to use on that part of your body/sensitive area.
However, I think you should decide how YOU want that area to look like, not what "boys" might prefer.
Do you want to look 12? then remove the hair.
You OK with how you look now? Stay hairy.
You want to look tidy, then trim gently with scissors. (which incidentally is helpful for a girl around the time of her period - with less long hairs down there).
Is he going to shave to, for you? If you feel YOU should do this for him, shouldn't he do the same for you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2016): You say your boyfriend is touching you down there and you are as young as 13!Im not being judgemental on you but i cant help wondering how old this boyfriend is.?Perhaps he is quite a lot older than you are and then this is not ok at all because he shouldnt be putting you into that situation in the first place!You are still too young for it to be considered the age of consent, but what rings bells in my head is why you need to ask the question because you are not a sex object to be liked or despised.You are a person and how you feel about it all is far more important than the length of your pubic hair which starts growing about age 11 yrs.This is your body and if your periods have already started then you stand a chance of becoming pregnant with any form of sexual behaviour that continues beyond touching with hands.Even if it is just touching it is still sexual behaviour and I really doubt that it would be appropriate for you to run the risk of pregnancy!Do you have the right to say "No! Get your hands off me!" Yes you absolutely do have the right whatever your age so wise up about that.Just because you are female it doesnt mean you are an automatic sex object.You shouldnt be worrying about your attractiveness but you should be worrying about your assertiveness.If you have a genuine boyfriend of your own age the above also applies!You are so much more than an available pubic area!Are you a sex experiment?I hope not!The smart youngster keeps her sex organs to herself and waits for her maturity to catch up with her body which may be "force ripe!"While the male is usually proud of his ability to get past your defences eg bra and pants the female usually gets little in return especially so young.So you need to really think about this and confide in someone if needs be!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 I also want to stress that body hair is *not* gross. We're conditioned to think it is, but your body isn't gross, OP.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 Natural is best shaved "down there" looks weird in my opinionDon't fret over what HE thinks If HE wants something other than natural maybe he's a freak that wants an inflatable doll.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016): You don't want people lecturing you, but by saying that you clearly realise that you're too young for this. Honey, the only reason you should shave is because YOU want to - if you're doing something for a boy then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Is he going to be shaving his public hair away to make it tidy for you? If you can't talk about these things to each other then this is just a sign it's a bit too soon. When you feel ready you'll feel nervous, but you'll know it is what you want so you'll be a but excited too. What is important is that even if he's already touching you - you must know that it is ok to stop and say you don't want to carry on, go any further or do it again. If you want to say no then say it. Make sure this guy is worth it. Because if you do have some kind of sexual activity together and he then talks to friends, they will tell others and before you know it everyone will know. Is he decent enough not to turn you into gossip? Does he act respectively towards girls in general because that will give you a sign about how he will act towards you. Also, it would be nice for him to know that you aren't going to tell all of you friends.Just don't rush anything. There is nothing wrong with carrying on as you are and explaining to him you want to wait until it's not against the law. It might sound mad but there was a case in the UK were a 14 year old was put on the sex offenders register because they sent a nude pic to their 14 year old partner - that would affect your whole future life.Practical shaving advice: just like you moisturise your legs after shaving, it'd be good to use some kind of after shaving balm/gel as these tend to be a bit more sensitive - an aloe vera gel with antibacterial properties. Or you could use a sensitive hair removal cream. Mostly just be confident with yourself and your body. I honestly honestly can't stress enough how much better it is to wait for the right person, because they'll appreciate you for who you are and it makes such a better experience.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 October 2016):
 I would not suggest shaving. If you cut yourself there it's really uncomfortable in addition, the growing back itches.
There is always waxing but that's expensive.
I would not use chemical hair removers either.
How about if you shave your thighs and trim the rest.
In addition CindyCares is right... you should do this for yourself NOT for anyone else EVER.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2016): ok you said dont lecture me about age so I woun't. just want to tell you as a guy, presence or absence of hair doesnt bother us. we love it either way. Just make sure your hygeines are properly done and you are clean and use protection at all times cause you dont want to end up with a baby.Can you ensure that?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2016):
 !) Why don't you ask him ? If you are old enough to show him your you-know-what, and to let him play with it, you are surely also old enough to ask him what his preferences are in terms of pubic hair .
2 ) Most of all, do you WANT to shave ? Would you shave if it weren't for this boy ? Would you feel cleaner or sexier or prettier or whatnot, or do you like your pubic area just the way it is ?
You may be a bit too young for sex, but you definitely are not too young to understand that you must do the things yoi do for yourself, not to ingratiate yourself to some guy who can be here today and gone tomorrow, or to curry favour in the eyes of a male because all it counts in life is getting male approval ( ... it's not ).
If you want to shave, because you find it more practical or more hygienical or aesthetical or whatever, then shave, it's not against the law. If you are doing it just because you are afraid you would not be " good enough " - you are good enough. In fact, you are so good, that you will give him access to your private parts, and this is a big gift for someone his age, it's not as if he can snap his fingers and have colonies of porn starlettes drooling after him !
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