A
female
age
41-50,
*harlie girl
writes:My boyfriend has finished with me a couple of times and we have gotten back together, I know he loves me, it took him over a year to tell me and he always said he would tell me when he did fall in love with me, but he is so stubborn and finds it hard to talk. I would love to talk and sort things and not let them fester, he would let it go on for days and I get angry over this and that's when he calls it a day with us.I am tired of him finishing it like this and want it to stop, it's now over and I've told him I've had enough and he's the same to me but I know deep down this is not what either of us want, I want him back but want him to make the move what should I do? I want to ring him and text him all the time and I know I shouldn't.Please help, am I best not contacting him any more and just letting him see on getting on with my life? I need to know what not to do to drive him away, I know he loves me and I love him very much. I've had terrible hurtful relationships in the past where I have been cheated on every time and ended up never trusting men I ended up in a relationship with but I learned to trust this guy and it feels great to finally trust someone I'm with.Please help, I don't want to lose him and we live directly across the road from each other so it's really hard, hope you can help, regards charlie girl
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female
reader, lizzyb  +, writes (19 March 2009):
Sounds like your relationship is not very healthy. You might think that when you break up and get back together that it means you're meant to be together, that there's something always pulling you back. Maybe there is but when you continuously repeat the cycle it might mean that you just don't work together. Yes you may love him, he might love you, but if you keep breaking up and breaking up something is obviously wrong with the way you two function together.
And the fact that he's willing to give up so easily is probably fostered by the knowledge that he can always come back because you've always let him. you shouldn't just leave when you have problems you should try and do whatever you can to fix them. breaking up should be an absolute last resort.
I think you should give each other space for a while. don't contact him, let him come to you. when he does contact be polite, but don't volunteer information, keep it casual. meanwhile keep busy, go out and enjoy yourself, meet new people and have fun.
yes you might miss him but use this time to evaluate whether or not you actually can see this working out long term. If you can see this that the cycle will continue to repeat itself then I think you should definately walk away coz it's far from good for your mental well being.
after taking your time apart if you still want to get back together you should discuss all your problems in a calm and rational way. talk about what you can do to break this cycle. tell him that this is the last shot and if he does another runner and just throws up his hands and leaves again then that's it for you. he needs to know you mean business and that he can't keep doing this to you.
goodluck!
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