A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello there.Australian expat in Turkey. Both Australian expats.Well, technically, husband's Kiwi with dual citizenship but born in Australia if that makes any sense to you.He claims he's an "Kiwi Aussie".Husband feels quite depressed here. Really wants to go back but his contract doesn't expire until 3 months later.He says he's glad the lockdowns are gone, both here and at home, but doesn't like the way Turkey is and the political climate.We've been here 9 years, only moved because of his employer, who's Australian, based out here.I'm suspecting depression, as he's not really interested in work, well, he works from home for now, he's drinking endless amounts of coffee, and his sex drive's dried up.He's not talking much to me, and is quieter than usual.No deaths in the family, nothing else like that.I'm worried abput him but he won't talk to me.He hasn't got many friends here either, most went back a while ago, only 12 people now work at his employer compared to the 90 it was a few years ago, that's 87% of the workforce quit!He misses his close friend, a Kiwi expat who's gone back home to Auckland. Really got on well with the guy, his wife and his young son. I did too.Now he's questioning if being here for 9 years was a waste of time.What's the advantages and disadvantages of going back home?As it is, I'm unable to work legally. Not don't want to work. Just can't. Well, if I did, it'd be illegal and it'd affect my visa status.If I went back home, there's a job in Brisbane I was interested in. Sure, working in an Italian restaurant doesn't sound great but for me it was good.If you guys could help it'd be great.
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female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (3 June 2022):
 From what you’ve said in your post, it seems like you both want to go back. Your husband definitely does. But do you have any other reasons why you want to go back? Yes there’s the reason about your job, but are there any others? It’s about what you want as well, not just your husband. But from what it seems like, you both want to go back. It seems that you guys have better opportunities and a better social life over there, and it’d be good for your husband’s well-being
Maybe you should make a list of pros and cons for both countries and go through them with each other. Make sure your decision is solid, the last thing you need is to have any major doubts.
Also going back doesn’t mean it was all a waste of time. Try to be optimistic. It could just be the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, because let’s face it, if you do go back, bare in mind that your old life won’t just resume.
I would make plans to leave after his contract expires, if that’s what you guys want
A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (3 June 2022):
From what you’ve said in your post, it seems like you both want to go back. Your husband definitely does. But do you have any other reasons why you want to go back? Yes there’s the reason about your job, but are there any others? It’s about what you want as well, not just your husband. But from what it seems like, you both want to go back. It seems that you guys have better opportunities and a better social life over there, and it’d be good for your husband’s well-being
Maybe you should make a list of pros and cons for both countries and go through them with each other. Make sure your decision is solid, the last thing you need is to have any major doubts.
Also going back doesn’t mean it was all a waste of time. Try to be optimistic. It could just be the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, because let’s face it, if you do go back, bare in mind that your old life won’t just resume.
I would make plans to leave after his contract expires, if that’s what you guys want
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (2 June 2022):
If your husband misses "home" and his contract is up in 3 months then make plans to go home when his contract is up.
You can both use those final 3 months to start job hunting now and try and secure job interviews at least on your return.
I can't see any "pro's" in someone staying in a foreign country where they aren't happy and dislike their job. Sure, the job might pay well but I think mental health is far more important sometimes.
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