A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Many people have already asked about penis size and what a girl considers to be too big or too small; however there is one key piece of information that's missing from those posts. That question is, how big is the girl in question.Now, for the sake of keeping things simple, let's have penis length measure in inches, and width or thickness, measured as girth or circumference.Let's also measure vagina size by how many fingers her partnet can stick in her without discomfort.This is what I'm really trying to ask.What does a girl who's man can only get his index finger into her consider small? What does she consider big?What does a girl who's man can get 2 fingers into her consider small, what does she consider big?Etc.... You can see where I'm going with this...also , what does each girl consider perfect?I'm worried about my size and my gf. Here's whyI'm only 5 inches with 4.8 girth...I can get my index finger in her, and my middle finger, but then its so tight and hurts her...so her comfort range is pretty much one finger, preferably middle fingerWhat do you think is her prefence on penis size? She's only been with me but I don't want her to get curious and leave me.Please help me out here.I've heard of girls easily having their man shove 4 fingers in there...now these are obviously the girls who say "oh its gotta be at leas 7 inches" now u guys see why all the penis questions have never really satisfied me..I don't wanna know what the average right size for women, I just wanna know wats right for my partner.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (10 December 2009):
To the anonymous male poster who is 5 inches and not the OP.... I LOVE sex but don't like any of the things you mentioned. If I moan during deep penetration or with a well-endowed male it's because it HURTS, not because I'm enjoying it. Obviously. I'm talking about myself and not all womankind but talking to my girlfriends I find that I'm not that unusual.
This misconception is common with guys who've watched a lot of porn. Don't get me wrong - I'm not anti-porn but whenever I watch it i am struck by how uncomfortable it all seems for the woman. It's very obviously made and marketed at a male audience. My current b/f has obviously watched a lot of porn in his youth and I am constantly having to remind him that "a hard deep banging" does absolutely NOTHING for me. Luckily I am an older women who doesn't worry about telling him what I really want.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I am slightly larger than average - size does not matter, some women I have been with can orgasm through sex, others orgasm easier through oral or hand stimulation, some need much more foreplay before they can orgasm through sex.It sounds like you and your girlfriend have the start of a nice relationship, discussing this with your girlfriend is the best way - if she trusts you enough, get her to let you watch while she is masturbating -it will give you a good idea of what works for her.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2009):
 You're asking the entire female population to agree on one answer to that question? Ha! We are individuals, with individual tastes, desires, wants and fantasies. SOME women like x, SOME women like y, and SOME women like z. You cannot generalize on this.
You are also spending far too much time imagining what women want, when all you have to do is ask the woman you are with.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I'm the 5 incher (not the OP)
Don't the following experiences of girls mean anything? I strongly suspect at least one of the following applies to each girl who gets pleasure from sex:
One length doesn't cause orgasms, a longer one does.
One length/girth causes some moaning, a larger length/girth causes louder moaning
Girls say they like the deep feeling
Girls say they like to be stretched out
The word 'matter'
When we ask whether size matters, we are asking about physical sexual pleasure, not the relationship.
Now I expect some girls to get pissed and just say 'Yes it does! Happy now?!' Not helpful. Is it the truth, or just spite?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2009):
Hey, I never said intercourse didn't feel good. I think the woman to ask about that 'deeper deeper' is the one you're in bed with.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2009):
To the anon male whose wife couldn't have orgasms, period. If she couldn't give herself an orgasm, a 7 inch penis probably wouldn't have either. So cut yourself a break.
And to our OP, good on ya! Have fun!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCome to think of it...I did leave that out...when your girlfriend moans "deeper...deeper" then doesn't that tell you something?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I'm about the same dimensions as the OP. My ex couldn't have orgasms, period. She said she felt like she would almost cum from penetration. She said she liked it all the way in because it felt deeper. My interpretation? If she likes it deep, she would like a longer dick. Isn't that logical? I'm only 5 inches. 2 more inches wouldn't have hurt her (assuming she's fully aroused). I assume it would just make her moan louder, maybe even cum.
With this experience, how can I see the size issue another way?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you tisha...I think that made me breath a sigh of relief ;) and yes I'm doing everything right then...I even gave her an A spot orgasm...very hard to reach though
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 December 2009):
Sorry, just saw that last followup. I'm sorry, did you say you were getting advice about women's sexuality and orgasms from men's forums?
*!*
Sorry, I just came back from wiping my eyes. Hee! *snort* Sorry.
The estimated percentage of women who reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone is around 25 percent or so. With oral stimulation, it goes up to 81 percent.
Okay, look, women LIKE intercourse, they do. Some really can experience orgasms with no problems and they are the lucky few. The vast majority do not reach orgasm through intercourse. Sorry to rock your world. Porn lies. Porn is built on a fantasy designed to sell to men. Designed to part men from their money. (Not all porn, mind you, but my guess is that most of is designed for men, as purportedly, they are the visual of the species.)
I'm trying to say this in as nice a way as possible, not to burst your bubble too much. But the penis, while a lovely thing and very interesting and useful, the penis in and of itself, as designed for use in vaginal intercourse, doesn't do a whole hell of a lot for most women. Think of the clitoris as her little penis. If you ignore it, or think of it as a nice little nubbly flap but not of much use, you are going to be a rotten lover. It would be like your lover ignoring your penis and focusing all her energy on your balls. While it might be lovely and nice to have your balls stimulated, it's not the place that gets you going, is it? No, I didn't think so.
So, to have her reach orgasm while having vaginal intercourse, you have to come up with a way to stimulate her clitoris. She needs to tell you how she likes to be touched and how hard and all that stuff, but you can have a whole hell of a lot of fun figuring that out with her.
Throw away every single one of those links to how men make women come. Pay absolutely no attention. Even to my links.
Pay 100 percent of your attention to your woman, figure HER out, ask HER what she likes, and don't make the mistake that it is your penis alone that will make her orgasm. Sorry, but it is not. It is not a judgement on you, your penis or your anatomy. It is a function of her anatomy and her sexual response.
Okay? Now off you go. As a really interesting exercise, might I suggest that you do not have vaginal intercourse for a few sessions, just to see how many different ways you can come up with to make her orgasm. That should be interesting.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 December 2009):
It is an interesting question, Q. Sorry for the tone. It was meant to be funny but came across bitchy. My bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): I honestly don't know how this myth about vaginal penetration being necessary to bring a woman off got started (in men's heads?), but myth it is.
In my personal experience, it is possible for a woman to have a FANTASTIC time with many, many orgasms and not even a mention of penetration.
Am I giving too much away? And all for no fee!
Gosh, my generousity knows no bounds.......
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 December 2009):
Q, you gotta get out more. Peepee. Veejay. That better?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 December 2009):
Alright then 7.3 inches! That make you feel better?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 December 2009):
You're putting a lot of pressure on the her (and you) to expect she HAS to orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Sorry, but the back 2/3 of the vagina has essentially zero pleasure receptors, the front third, some, the most hotwired part of a woman's anatomy is the clitoris. Expecting her to orgasm through vaginal sex alone with no clitoral stimulation is like expecting you to reach orgasm by having your scrotum stimulated while your penis is untouched. How would that work for you?
This is a quote from another website at plannedparenthood.org and I think it applies to this question: "Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation. But in most women, the clitoris is positioned in such a way that it is often not stimulated during vaginal intercourse. So in cultures like ours, that place a high value on vaginal intercourse, many women do not receive sufficient clitoral stimulation to bring them to orgasm more quickly, if at all. In most kinds of partnered sex play — manual, body-rubbing, oral, anal, or vaginal — a man's penis is directly stimulated. This is often not true for a woman's clitoris." ( http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/ask-dr-cullins/ask-dr-cullins-sex-5267.htm )
I'm sure you are disappointed that your penis isn't the magic wand for her that you'd like it to be. It's nothing to do with you, it's the anatomy, okay? So don't take it personally.
Another thing to keep in mind is that an unaroused vagina is a lot shorter and 'tighter' than an aroused one. The vagina will balloon back and lubrication will occur making penetration easier.
I want you to do some reading here:
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=153#moresexy
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
Then come back with what you could apply to your situation.
Remember, the goal of sex is pleasure, right? (Setting aside the procreation part of it right now.) So if she is getting pleasure and you are getting pleasure, does it matter so much that you're not following some abstract rulebook that dictates how and where you get there? Free yourself from the tyranny of expectations and watch your sex life bloom....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't realize that.....do most girls really not orgasm through penetration??? I've been getting the idea that most girls do based on guys always talking about it and forums....are they lying??? Can more females elaborate on this?
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (9 December 2009):
If she's not having orgasms through penetrative sex it's probably because she isn't getting enough clitoral stimulation - nothing to do with your penis size.
I personally find it very difficult to achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone unless I'm on top and able to control the movement. (I had an orgasm in the missionary position the other day for the 1st time in about 10 years! What a shock!) I have much better orgasms through hand or mouth stimulation.
I'm sorry you didn't like Emily's reply because she has a fair point. Women are usually far more interested in the quality of the orgasm than the size of the penis. Porn movies depict women as "loving big cock" but the majority of these movies are made by men for men and the women are acting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: I want to add to my question that I don't want answers like the first response I received.
I know I please my girlfriend mentally and she really loves it....she can't stop having sex with me and when we wake up, its pretty much sex...breakfast...more sex
And pretty much sex all day and everyday....however, I have only made her orgasm once with my penis..that's why I asked my question in the first place. I'm not a guy who thinks size matters, but I just want to know why I can't give her orgasms often. Please answer my main question and consider this to be strictly rhetorical.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 December 2009):
You should know that the ONLY people who obsess over penis size are MEN. All those adverts you saw on porn sites LIED to you!
Being great in bed is nothing to do with size.
What is right for your partner is YOU because she loves YOU!!!
The woman's main sexual organ is her brain. We get far far far more turned on mentally than by some bloke whipping a huge great thing out of his boxers.
If you make her feel sexy then she will never ever leave you.
This whole size thing is all in your head.
Good Luck!! xx
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