A
female
age
26-29,
*ue42
writes:My friend invited me to her house, as r bf's were going to come to her house so we could all hangout. When I got there she already had 2 other of our girlfriends there spending the night. So there were 4 girls and 2 boys, we are all 15. My mom picked me up at 1 a.m. as she didn't want me to spend the night cuz Mother's Day was the next day. The boys were supposed to be picked up at 1 also, but were still at my friend's when I left...I wasn't too pleased leaving my bf at my friend's that late at night with his guy friend "and 3 other girls". At 1:30 a.m. my friend's older sister got off work and asked why I didn't spend the night cuz she wanted to talk to me about her bf...she offered to come down to my house to pick me up, so my Mom let me go back. The boys ended up being allowed to spend the night. I texted my mom to tell her cuz if she found out otherwise there were boys spending the night she would have been ticked. My friend's family had the 2 boys sleep upstairs in my friend's bed, and the 2 single girls also sleep upstairs across the hall from the boys in another room. Me, and my friend (who are dating the boys) slept downstairs on the couch. WHY they didn't make the two boys sleep downstairs, and all of us girls upstairs in the bedrooms is BEYOND ME. Everyone seems to like my bf, and he is cuter than hers...maybe my friend got a thrill from her bf and my hunky bf sleeping in her bed...I don't know?! The family also told us they would be going out for a couple hours in the morn to Mother's Day breakfast and was going to leave me, my bf, and the two single girls there until they got back. My Mom called me at 8 a.m. (after she got my text) saying she was on her way to get me cuz those boys had no business spending the night with a group of girls when they just live right down the road. She thought it was bullcrap that my bf was sleeping up in another girl's bed (even though she wasn't in it..it still has a sense of intimacy for a guy to sleep in a girl's bed). My Mom didn't care that if she picked me up that my bf would be there alone for a couple hours with the two single girls. She thinks he's an a-hole sometimes cuz if it was the other way around (me just sleeping in another guys bed he would have a major fit). When I got my dufflebag from my friends room I nudged my bf and told him I have to go home now. He knew he would be there alone with the 2 girls and he never asked to go to my house. It disgusted me that my bf chose to stay there sleeping in my friend's bed with two girls sleeping in the next room and no adult would be in the house. A couple days later, I saw my friend's Mom and she was giggly and asked me if I saw the text that my bf sent to her daughter. Yes, I saw it, cuz my friend also thought it was just sooooooo cute she showed had to show it to me. It was something like "When are you guys going to be home. I have to pee and I don't know where your bathroom is, so I'm just going to stay in your room until you get here." Anyhow, my friend's mom, her older sister, and my friend, all thought my mom was a ridiculous for picking me up so early just cuz the boys stayed the night. Me and my mom thought it was inappropriate for my boyfriend to choose to stay there with his friend and the girls while I went home. He could have asked to come to my house. And we thought it was realllly bad of him to remain sleeping in my friend's bed the next morning with two girls in the next room. He would NEVER let me do something like that, but it's perfectly fine to him if he does. Are me and my mom crazy for thinking the way we do about this situation? Any advice? Opinions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2011): I'm with your mum and you on that one. Though I imagine he may have not been inclined to leave because he was half asleep when you announced you were leaving. I also agree with eyes in saying your friend's parents were courting trouble leaving teenage boys and girls unattended for several hours, especially after having spent the night together (even though there was no monkey business).If your relationship with your boyfriend is otherwise good, then I would simply tell him that you thought spending the night in another girl's bed and alone with them the next day was inappropriate and that his behaviour will influence your own in future. Then leave it at that. Let him ponder what that means and offer him no reassurance. That doesn't mean you act the way he did of course. Stick to your own moral code, but it doesn't hurt you any to have him feel a little uncertain.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 May 2011):
 Your friend's parents are asking for trouble, believe me. I personally think all 15 year olds should be under lock and key for a couple years or they have a rational thought, whichever comes first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): Yes he is a 15 year old. Waking up early to a psycho mom and his jealous bf? No thanks! and duh hormones! Of course he wants to be around other girls, maybe he didint even intend to or w/e but u are exaggerating.
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A
female
reader, RMeg  +, writes (10 May 2011):
If I was in your shoes I would definitely be pissed off with your boyfriend, as well as your friend that allowed him and his friend to sleep in her bed !!
I personally feel that boys and girls at the age of 15 should have boundaries, The fact that your boyfriend stayed their whilst you went home is completely wrong!
BUT if you think about it, the only reason he might of stayed instead of going home could be that his friend wanyed him to stay !!
Maybe you should just tell him that you wernt so impressed that he slept over where a bunch of girls slept over - You have reason to be upset but don't let it bug you!
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