A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is he hiding something?He was out of town for the weekend for a work trip in Las Vegas. He usually at least makes contact with me once a day, but while he was gone I didn't hear from him at all. Even when I contacted him, he didn't respond. When he returned he seemed a little aloof. I asked him if he missed me, and he said he did. But when I pointed out that he didn't contact me at all, he said he was really busy and turned really red (I have never seen him turn red before, he is definitely not the shy or awkward type). I didn't directly ask him if he cheated or did anything with anyone, but I did tell him that I don't tolerate cheating or lying about cheating. I also told him that if he was no longer interested, we should break up. But he didn't break up with me, and he said he hasn't lied to me. Is there any meaning to the blushing? Should I be worried or concerned?
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female
reader, smitheroon +, writes (1 April 2010):
 I don't want to be down on men here, truly, because I absolutely adore men and they're like candy to me, but I honestly believe the following:
1) Men will NOT break up with you if they're cheating unless they FIRMLY have a new relationship/sex partner in place. They do this in case the new person doesn't work out then you'll still be there waiting on them.
2) They will lie, lie, lie. Men will lie - even if they're doing it poorly, to save their ass. He is lying to achieve point number 1.
3) If you feel like he's deceiving you, then he's deceiving you.
Here's the thing - this is Las Vegas we're talking about here. He might be blushing because he got so wasted that he gambled away a few thousand dollars and blacked out on vodka in his hotel room most of the stay. He might be blushing cause he hooked up with a set of twins.
You get two choices: believe him and move on or practice a little interrogation. You've already gone a touch far by getting pissed off so go to him and apologize - profusely. Tell him you have PMS and you're so embarrassed. Let a day or two go by where you're nice, or at least an evening. Then make a nice dinner, serve a little wine, and start talking. Rule #1 - take everything he says as truth and try to be open-minded. Do not be accusatory or demanding or say he's lying. Those will clue him in to your evil plan. Look for words like "after" - those often mean someone is hiding something. ("I was at the bar.. then after that I went to my hotel room" = something happened he doesn't want to tell you) Listen to his language, how often he repeats times or missing time slots, how often he backtracks ("I was leaving the hotel bathroom, wait, I mean my hotel room bathroom" = he probably meant hotel bathroom and slipped it out), and how often he uses words like "um, you know, uh" ... those are all clues to lies or deceit.
Bottom line - it was Vegas! I'm sure he did something stupid! Now move on or plan your own trip and don't call him for a few days. :)
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