A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I started a new job a few months ago and one of my co-workers has caught my eye. He's very cute although a bit younger than me. When he sees me his eyes often go really wide and sometimes he'll look away quickly. He acts a bit nervous and fidgety in my company and can't hold eye contact. So, I thought maybe he liked me too. He also stares at me a lot. If I didn't fancy him I'd find it quite creepy tbh. We do chat sometimes, just stuff about what we've done at the weekend. I don't see him that much as he's in a different department. I'm quite nervous around him anyway (fear of rejection) so I can't flirt but I try to be friendly and I've given him 'the look' a few times. He's never mentioned a girlfriend, so I don't know if he's single or not. Anyway, about a month ago I sent him a Facebook friends request and he never responded to it. He's added quite a few of our other co-workers so I know he's not funny about adding work people, hence why I added him (and the others too - they've ALL added me back!). I wondered if maybe he'd not received the notification so I cancelled the request and sent it again, a couple of days ago. Again, nothing.He's left comments on some of our mutual friend's walls since then so I know he's been online. So naturally I'm a bit upset and wondering why he's not added me back. Is he intimidated? Or have I been reading him wrong all this time? Not sure what to think but beginning to wish I had an 'off' switch for my feelings. :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOP here.
Thanks for your reply. I've sometimes wondered about the gf thing but he's never mentioned one when we've chatted. He'll say "I went to see some bands with friends" or "I had lunch with my family" when I ask what he's done at the weekend. And you'd think he'd want me to know if there was a significant other - and I'd want to know, so I could move on.
I don't see him that much really, just when we go to the communal kitchen. He tends not to speak to me if there's other people around, but if it's just him and I we chat. We actually have some offsite training for a few days next month and will be staying in the same hotel - so I'm hoping he won't keep to himself and I can get to know him a bit then.
I've also wondered if the fact we work together is making him wary about getting to know me better. We work in different departments and there's a few couples in our organisation so it's not as if it's frowned upon. But I wonder if he worries about the implications of being involved with a colleague.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 March 2012):
There's a really good chance that he fancies you. But, you simply don#t know enough about him yet to know what he's about. Facebook is all well and good, but either he's too shy, or he has a girlfriend and he's purposely blocking you.
I think you'd do better to try and get to know him more in real life. There are signs he likes you, but either he's shy, confused, or he maybe has a girlfriend. But until you get to know him more in real life, you're not going to be able to know what he's thinking.
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