A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay im really sorry if this is too long, so ive been with my boyfriend for 9months and i love him to bits. He tells me he loves me all the time. But im really worried at the moment. He's acting differant and he was talking with his parents and they thought he should give me space and see me less cos they think hes like kinda obsessed? so then he told me that he was going to give me space which is strange cos he used to always want to speak to me and see me. Also it was his birthday and i was ment to see him the day before but then he fell out with his parents ,he wanted to come over to mine on his birthday but his family had organized a suprise then i was meant to see him on Saturday but i can only watch his game (he does sport) because he has family friends coming to his. I know it probably doesnt sound like a big deal but i really wanted to see him on his birthday and it makes me feel like im not a good girlfriend. The other thing is about one of female friends. I honestly dont have a problem with him having girls as friends (my best friend is a boy) but she makes me worry. He tells her about our arguments sometimes and she always tells him to dump me. She text him not long ago with loads of kisses and he asked her not to put as many kisses because he didnt like it, she said it was weird and she sends that many to everyone. A couple of days ago i was on his phone (not because im some jealous stalker girlfriend, we trust each other)and i found messages from her after an argument between me and him. she was pretty much telling him to dump me and asking him is it worth going out with someone who you always have to worry about dumping you? Again she put loads of kisses. She has a reputation but so do some of my friends and none of them put that many kisses to boys they are just friends with. Before i saw the texts he told me he had stopped hanging around with her. he always tells me that he doesnt find her attractive at all but im more worried she'll try something with him. he doesnt seem to understand why this upsets me but if it was the other way round he would be really worried. He really is amazing and i trust him 100% but it feels like he doesnt love me as much anymore and i just cant stop worrying. Should i be worried?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): thankyou for your answer. i do trust him 100% (he's the only person i trust fully) and i wasnt looking through his texts because i was worried or insecure, his phone went off and he asked me to read it for him. i just happened to see them in his inbox and then started to think the worst in my head. im not worried about him trying anything i was just worried that she would. i told him that i was worried and he told me to stop being silly and worrying about nothing.we hav a very good relationship which i think is because we are honest with each other and talk about stuff (and obviously because we love each other)she still texts him sometimes but it dosnt bother me now. i think i was more upset because if it was the other way round he would be really upset about it and he didnt seem to understand that and also because i couldnt see him on his birthday. he's told me that he still loves me as much as he did, he was just worried he was pushing me away by bieng to clingy. thanks for your advice xx
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (25 March 2012):
 If you truly did trust him 100%, you would not have been reading his texts and you would not be worried about any females he is close to. So that bit is wrong.I am not sure what more he can do? He tells you he loves you. He has spoken to this girl about sending too many kisses (something I presume you did not put him up to). He respects his parents enough to listen to their advice (always a good sign) and not obsess over you. What more would you like?You need to talk to him honestly. I expect the root cause of your arguments is your lack of trust. Without talking frankly, I do not expect your relationship to last much longer.Let him know your concerns. Tell him you love him. Both of you need to get everything out in the open. All the little things that are annoying you need to come out. You need to get angry with eachother, then cry with eachother, then laugh together if you have any hope of recovering this relationship. I would suggest you both take a week or so to write lists of everything you need to discuss so you don't forget anything. Once you have done that, you may have a chance of moving on.I wish you luck... I know it sucks when these things play on your mind... but you can't ignore it. Once the seed is planted it will only grow unless it is weeded out.
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