A
male
age
36-40,
*oooldforthis
writes:So had three amazing dates with this one girl I met online. Pretty much once a week for the past 3 weeks or so. Things were going smoothly up until this past week hahaThird date last sunday ended pretty well, with a make out outside of her car when I dropped her off. Ended it with a "we should do something this week!" but then the entire span of last week went by, and she didn't reply to my two texts at all asking if she wanted to do something this weekend until friday with a text as follows:"Hey! Sorry. It's the first time I've had a moment to breathe all week. It's been a rough one."... kind of a weird response, but then got even more weird:Me: "eek, that doesn't sound good... everything okay?"Her: "Not really haha! Work has been crazy and roomate got a save the date card for my ex's wedding. Drinking now."So, clearly she's not over her ex I guess, which I can relate to a little and that's fine, so saturday I send her a follow up asking if she was feeling better, and her response was that she's jokingly been drunk the whole weekend and I should ask her when she's sober.So, should I just wait until she's done lamenting over her situation and wants to actually talk and hang out again? Or should I reach out again to ask if she's free?? Or just give up on this one all together? Frustrating.Thanks for reading. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
drunk, her ex, met online, my ex, text, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 November 2011):
 I'm surprised she contacted you again. At least she had enough tact to tell you that. Still, it doesn't soften the blow. Sorry to hear that. Don't get too discouraged, you did everything right. It's her loss. Really it's for the better.
A
male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (9 November 2011):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: so, she got back to me tonight... her response was not that ideal, predictable but I really don't understand it:
"Hey! I'm really sorry about the past week. I think I've come to the conclusion that dating is a terrible idea for me right now. I'm sorry."
...
ouch! Pretty upset about it, but she seems a little unstable. Things were going well before this.
Trying to stay positive, but DAMN. Felt pretty heartbroken earlier this year so this wasn't really what I needed.
...............................
A
male
reader, toooldforthis +, writes (8 November 2011):
toooldforthis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses everyone. Going to pretty much just not pursue this girl any longer... after thinking about it, she's just a bit too immature for me to want to invest a lot of emotion or time with. BLAH.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (8 November 2011):
The issue is that you're continuously displaying interest in her but her end seems to lacking.
-She's hardly texted you, in which it only texts a matter of seconds to text back. For a lot of women, their phone is a much needed social connection.
-She mentioned her ex's wedding. Bad move.
-And she's spending all weekend getting drunk instead of accepting another date with you. Basically drinking her sorrows over her ex away, not the answer. Maybe she even has an underlying drinking problem.
To sum it up, this woman should not be dating anyone at the moment. Your best bet is to cut your losses (3 dates and some $$ spent on her, not too bad) and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aingealag  +, writes (8 November 2011):
 I would definitely let this one go, it seems like her mind is elsewhere at the moment. No replies to your texts... Drunk all weekend?!.. And you should never bring up your ex to someone you're dating, that's so rude!
So my advice is let it go... and if after a while she gets over her issues and calls you, then you can always reconsider.
...............................
A
female
reader, bebe87 +, writes (8 November 2011):
 Sounds a little immature. I’d leave her alone. Clearly she doesn’t have much interest in pursuing anything. I’m sorry but no matter how busy/crazy/hectic someone’s day schedule is a text here and there takes 2 minutes, really. So it just seems like she is politely saying thanks but no thanks. Maybe just send one more text saying (that is if you really do want to see her) “Would like to see you again, let me know when you may be free. Hope all is well :)” If then you get nothing really back then ehhh move on. Plenty of fish out there. Good luck to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (7 November 2011):
Hi I would just leave it for now just give her time when she is over her ex or whatever is bothering her be there for her when she wants to hang out again just be casual about it
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntieAnn +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Hello there,From the sound of it, unfortunately she is not over her ex.I would suggest you re-consider any romantic notions and treat her as a friend for now. She is not in the right frame of mind for a new relationship and you may end up being the 'rebound guy'.Sounds like she needs a platonic shoulder to cry just now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): I would send a stern text saying, "I dont have time to waste, are you interested in hanging out because im free" and if she doesnt text back. Dont text her until she texts you back.
...............................
|
