A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my ex went for a meal last week. I thought it would be a good idea to see if i had still any feelings for her. As she told a friend of mine she was depressed i thought it would be a good idea to bring her to a park she loved, however when we got there it was closed so we went to a cafe instead.During the drive we chatted away and it felt very comfortable. We caught up with each other and had a laugh. When we got to the cafe i had a beer and it went to my head. I brought up the breakup (bad idea) and she said she felt we were going in different directions and told me she loved me like a brother (not good). When i heard this i told her how the way she treated me in the months before the breakup and the way she handled the breakup itself was inexcusable and made me angry. She asked me several times if we could be friends and i said no. I brought her home and when we parted she gave me a hug. Later i rang her and she told me she loved and missed me. The next day i got a friend request on facebook and a few day ago i got a text telling me about a beer festival in her area (i like beer). Anyway what is going on in her head??
View related questions:
depressed, facebook, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, twistedelm  +, writes (10 August 2009):
Dear Sir--When you reminded her about your breakup--was she talking or was it you who was doing the talking? It matters because when she finally asked you if you could be friends / that might have been her way to tell you that she was sorry for her behavior. If you were talking you might have not even heard this? When you said "NO" in a very strong voice; on the other hand; some women are attracted to strong sounding guys. You might mean "NO" in the real sense but lets hope your ex isnt more attracted to you. I have an ex too; I learned the hard way about many things. I know it doesnt pay to talk over women; so I changed some things about me for the better. Also some women think about a friend differently than men do. Are you sure you are on the same page? good luck.
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (10 August 2009):
It seems to me she's looking for a friend and you were someone very close and special to her, that's why she wants to be friends.
I think either you know you want to get back together with an ex or you know you don't want to get back together. If you are not sure and you brought her out simply to find out, it's really not fair to her. If this was the first contact you've had since the breakup, it gives her the idea you want to be back in her life.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): It sounds like she's lonely. The best thing you can do to help her is not expect anything from her. She might just need a good friend right now, and i think that it would be kind to not keep the past between you, because you'll miss the chance of really being there for her. Should go drink with her? Probably not a good idea because it will only keep you from being yourself and level headed.
Best of Luck!
...............................
|
