A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I found out from a good family friend that my son (he's 16) is in a relationship with a well-known local judge in our area.The friend said he'd seen my son drinking coke with this man, and they were kissing passionately in a Pizza Hut together in the far corner of it.He was out with his partner at the time. He recognized the man as the judge, he'd seen him a lot on regional TV.He didn't confront my son, simply because he had no idea what to do.The judge is 51, married with 2 grown-up kids and has been a judge for a long time now, a very long time.Our son has done well in school, he's going to college in September hopefully if his GCSE's are good (I think they will be!)I don't care if my son is gay, straight, bisexual, whatever, as long as he's happy.However, I find this relationship distasteful to say the least - why would my son be doing this, and why the hell is the judge doing this?Legally my son is at the age of consent, so I can't really stop him, but isn't this relationship a bit odd?I did ask my son about this, how/why/where he met him but he refused to discuss it, saying "it's nothing to do with you!"By contrast, my son's older brother is 22, in a relationship with a 24-year-old woman, no issues with that, it's safe and their relationship's lasted 3 years now.I don't get why my son went for this guy, as it seems bizarre to say the least.I tried getting my husband to talk to him about it, thinking he could talk about it with him, but my husband insisted my son could choose his own partner now. I asked him where that line of thinking came from, and he said his own dad told him that when he was 16 years old.This situation is one which I feel like I don't know how to deal with.How would you deal with my situation?Apologies for the length of this, but I just have no idea of what to do and this is causing me stress.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Has you son always been rebellious? Is he trying to communicate something to you by this extraordinary behavior?Since he's not talking see a psychologist to help you as you meander his path.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Well, I think you could simply state to your son that you think this relationship is distasteful and wrong because the man in married. That you are concerned for your son being ridiculed and or hurt partly due to the notoriety that will ensue should this be discovered since he is a public figure on TV and all.
Say to your son what you have said here. He is still a kid in my mind, and this lecherous old man is taking advantage of a kid....say that to him...as well as that you love him and only want the best for him.
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