A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do u define a clingy gf? i was simply telling my bf how much he meant to me and saying things like your the only person that will ever mean anything to me, ur the last thing i think of when i go to sleep and who i think of when i wake up and he told me to stop it coz it was creeping him out and made me sound extremely clingy. i didnt understand and it hurt coz i think it would have been sweet to hear something like that..i know if he said that to me id feel really happy. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Men don't tend to do that kind of stuff, which is why women are more attracted to men who are sweet and caring. They don't tend to like it.
Women however are the type of people that want to talk about their relationship at night, like lots of hugs and kisses while men wanna get straight to the point.
Maybe he just doesn't love you? I mean I love someone and yeahh I think about them every night etc etc etc and I'd tell them that if I got the chance - another case of unrequited love.
But maybe that's just me. And overly clingy girlfriend - a mon avis - would be someone who wouldn't leave their boyfriend alone, wouldn't let them out of the house. Overly clingy would also suggest possessive and - obsessive - behaviour.
You saying that doesn't suggest it. Yeahh maybe it was creeping him out but some people are creeped out by that kind of stuff.
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (16 June 2008):
 You have been together 21 months so the relationship should be pretty solid.
You are Australian so being a resident myself I am wondering if you are going out with a typical Aussie bloke. Living here I reckon about half the men I meet are emotionally bankrupt - there is that tradional ocker male thing of the missus being there to put out for her bloke and cook a good meal - everything else just gets in the way of the footy on the tele.
If you are going out with a bloke like this you are probably wasting your time expecting him to open up to you , it will never happen.
It sounds like you two operate from different perspectives anyway, so you need to assess are his qualities good enough to sustain the lack of openness you would like in this relationship?
good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): If someone was saying that to me everyday I be freaked out, but If you said just that one time and he freaked out, well it's a bit strange as you been dating a long time. Your both young, he properly dosen't see you two being together for ever, and you are both young
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have been together for 21 months
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): He's probably just not into that type of thing yet, maybe you haven't been dating long enough? Or again, it could just be his personality. Take things a little slower honey, but I wouldn't say that was clingy. It might be a little forward, but not clingy. Clingy is texting every 2 seconds, asking where the are and who they're with. Dying to come along with him everywhere he goes. Wanting to be with him every night of the week. THAT is clingy. Not you! Maybe talk to him about why he feels it's clingy? Good luck :]
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A
female
reader, sarahisgreat123  +, writes (16 June 2008):
honny i hate to say it but if he is creeped out by that it means that he is probably not ready for that kind of a relationship yet. i totally understand that you want to hear that too but it does sound like you are being a little clingy. I mean I agree with the other aunts that it depends how long you guys are going out and whether you have said "i love you" yet. If you haven't that I can understand why those things would be scary and a little clingy. Just watch out you dont want to overwhelm him and scare him off! he clearly means a lot to you!
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A
male
reader, agtorange +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Amount of time into the relationship is the main thing.
If you said that after a month or something I'd feel a bit creeped out, but if you guys have been going out for a long time, he shouldn't hav gotten creeped out at all.
Also, he could just be immature and feel uncomfortable having really deep conversations.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (16 June 2008):
 It really depends on how long you've been dating, and how often you tell him these things. Telling a person that kind of thing /every single day/ is a little creepy - it can put pressure on your partner to live up to all your expectations, and it /does/ make you seems a little needy. You know, the kind of girl who always has to know where her boyfriend is at all times, and insists on holding hands everywhere you go, and calling him 'shmoopsie-poo' in front of his mates, and not being able to go a day without seeing him... etc etc.
Also keep in mind that people express their love in different ways - ever hear of the five 'love languages'?http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html This might explain it better. Perhaps you and your boyfriend simply express your love differently.
Good luck either way.
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A
male
reader, koga 777 +, writes (16 June 2008):
i dont know i mean to me as long as you two have been together for at least a month it would be fine to say that..this seems to be a matter of oppinion really but i would define a clingy girlfriend as one who calls me a lot checks up with me all the time that sort of thing..not saying such sweet things to one another.how long have the two of you been bf/gf?
-michael
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): heya
seriously- understanding the male brain is just an impossible thing to do! theyre soo confusing!
i reckon an overly clingy girlfriend is someone who is possessive and needy and relys on her boyfriend for everything. what you said to him was sweet and loving-maybe thats what freaked him out-the fact that youre really serious about him? maybe you should jus casually ask him (and rememba to say 'without sounding too clingy for you but.. )'how serious are you about us and where do you see us heading?'-and see how he feels for you?
how long have you guys been together-if its only a few months maybe hes not ready to hear stuff like that- orrrr hes just a typical guy-and cant deal with 'sweeet' things cuz theyre too girlish for him.
love n godbless
friend
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