A
female
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*rooke5426
writes:If you are pregnant and dont want to have the baby for a lot of reasons and know in your heart the best thing would be to not have the baby, but your boyfriend really does want to have the baby, how should you decide if you keep the baby or not? Would you take into account the possibility of the relationship ending further down the line, where he would more or less have a life the same as before the baby came along but with access at weekends while you were a full time single parent struggling to make ends meet, in a situation you had got into because someone else wanted you to.Then again could you live with yourself if you had aborted someones child against his wishes?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Its your body. And only you can make the choice - As simple as that.
As a man If I was in this situation, I would do everything I could to assure my girlfriend that I would be there for her, but at the end of the day it is still her body and I have no right to demand what she does with it.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Flynn 24 has been posting for quite a while anonymously. Perhaps he should step up and post under his moniker. Could the moderators please remove this answer and the offensive name calling.
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (6 April 2008):
 Flynn 24 you have a lot to learn son and you attitude is back in the dark ages when woman were second class citizens and had to do as they were told. This is the 21's century son, and women are not stupid we can decide for ourselves.
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (6 April 2008):
After rading this post I remebered a story in the news a couple of yrs back. Woman fell pregnant wanted a termination her partner did not, he took it to court to stop her having one. He LOST! and thank god as woman would then be forced to carry babies that are not wanted just to keep their b/f's happy ridiculous! This is sort of like what Annalisa suggested but she's forgetting you might not want to carry a baby for 9 months give birth then give it to daddy, at the end of the day Brooke YOU have to decede whats best for YOU.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (6 April 2008):
brooke5426 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I cant believe some idiot has just described a person considering an abortion as a selfish little bitch. First of all I clearly stated "for a lot of reason" but didnt say what they were so you deciding the reason is purely selfish is astonishing.
Secondly, if you read the question I dont think I actually said it was personal. So taking it upon yourself to decide it wasnt huypothetical and jumping to conclusions then attacking me shows your level of education and intelligence now doesnt it?
"The man has a say in the whole thing as well and I'm sick of women taking the while 'my body my choice' rule."
Umm...YEAH! that was the point to the post! Did you read it wrong? Did you confuse it with a post somewhere which says "i'm having an abortion and I dont give an F what anyone, including the baby's father says"
Or are you just an ignorant little boy looking for an arguement? Twat.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 April 2008):
 If you find it hard to decide, why not let fate decide for you if the child will live or not.
You cannot be blamed if the child through no actions of yours did not survive.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): [removed]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): "A lot of reasons" is strong enough a support for your decision, would you exemplify what you mean by it? I strongly believe this should not be regarded as a question of wanting but a question of having the necessary conditions and circumstances in order to provide for the child, the most important of which can refer to secure home, stable employment, the partners' preparedness (not only willingness, as this will not suffice) as well as, of course, solving relationship problems beforehand (trust issues, superficial knowledge of your partner, et cetera.) A child implies important responsibilities that will advisably not be carried by only the partner "willing" to undertake the parenting role, let alone his capacity to assume parenthood honorably. It is also especially important that the partners know each other properly, will agree with each other's ideas of teaching/parenting and will be able to compromise. This aspect seems doubtful in your case, as you question the future of your relation and fear the possibility of single parenting later on, which may suggest the relation is yet in an early stage of mutual exploration and development(?)Your partner should be made aware that you don't seek to evade duties or responsibilities but you prioritise a child's best interests over the impulse to give birth in unprosperous (unplanned) circumstances, that can be perfected in the time to come. I will conclude by saying, if either of you is truly unprepared in this direction, this should not affect the course your relationship, by feelings of resentfulness and similar, if your partner realises your disagreement is not a hostile act targeting him. Seeing your tone, I only addressed the issue of being or feeling unprepared for parenthood and will not except the possibility of learning to be able to cope very well with an unexpected pregnancy if so desired, given the adequate conditions and welcome environment. I hope you simultaneously support each other in what what you decide is most convenient in your situation. All the best.
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female
reader, carebear +, writes (5 April 2008):
Hi Brooke
You have answered your own question dear quote "Would you take into account the possibility of the relationship ending further down the line, where he would more or less have a life the same as before the baby came along but with access at weekends while you were a full time single parent struggling to make ends meet, in a situation you had got into because someone else wanted you to"
How should YOU deceide? You also said "If you are pregnant and dont want to have the baby for a lot of reasons and know in your heart the best thing would be to not have the baby but your b/f does.
Will you b/f be carrying this baby? No Will your b/f have to adjust HIS life for this baby? NO. Legally all he needs to do is pay maintenace if he works and sadly some fathers don't even do that. Trust your owm judgement Brooke,as at the end of the day YOU will be the one with baby day in & out, You will be the one providing MOST of the finacial and emotional care for this baby ALL THE TIME. You guys may split up nobody knows are you prepared to go it alone?
I will not advise you one way or another this decision has to be YOURS!
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A
male
reader, Passthrough  +, writes (5 April 2008):
 Currently, it's a part of your body. Nobody's decision but your own.
If it comes between you and your partner, so be it. Tell your partner you simply cannot handle a child; if your partner is truely yours, they will understand.
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female
reader, I care +, writes (5 April 2008):
 I don't know how old you are but I'm 30 now and when I was 15 I fell pregnant and I sat in similar shoes. It's scary, Iknow and to have a baby so young can be hard but I can tell you it's very rewarding I looked at it this way God gave me this baby for a reason and I know now that it had nothing to do with the father cus it was a rape situation. Being a single parent can be hard but God makes it work it self out in the end. Also if your basing this decision on the lenghth of your relationship then all I can say is this look at some marriages they star off with the perfect love, house relationship and then in 10 to 20 years they devorce so nothing is garenteed but was is garenteed is your feelings and the feeling you'll develop for your child and the joy your going to share with them while watching them grow and to me abortion should never be an option cuz you can't fix it if you regret later and most people do regret that decision in the future and you'll bring your future possible more heart ache than you can bear. I judjest adoption atleast if you decidee you do want this child later you can contact them and explain thing but abortion you have to live with the facts that you killed a baby and just reading your letter I know your a loving person an so in turn I'm pritty sure you'll regret that decision. That's right this is your decision to make not anyone elses cus this is a part of you and you'll have the closest bond to the child it's amazing how big it really is. I hope this helps you with your desion making and I wish you all the best in your future.
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